Getting a little too Comfortable at Kozy Lounge

It’s been a while.

A long while, actually. Our last official MCBC post was back in November 2019, at Duffy’s Den, which turned out to be a real treat. And to be honest, I had another entry in the works in early 2020, but I started to feel real weird about posting it, as our collective lives and the way we do things all changed that March. Our experience at Frita Batidos will be released eventually, after a revisit.

Things really did change. The state of our hospitality industry is totally different, as people in the industry have found new work in different industries and stood up for more pay for a job that put them in the line of Covid. Restaurants have been seeing a huge change in staffing because of it, and many places even with the smoothest service have found themselves chronically understaffed.

With that in mind, I’m giving bigger tips and more grace to anyone in the service industry, as they’re still keeping it all together so we can feel a sense of normalcy in a world that is burning. With our sense of safety and need for togetherness raising, new and old members of the club pushed to get it all back together and to try something new – we headed over to Hazel Park’s Kozy Lounge to try things out.

Kozy fell on my radar after seeing them win the Detroit Burger Battle in 2019, an independently organized festival in downtown Detroit that gets a real strange list of entrants to sell their burgers in large quantities to attendees. I place little to no stock in these kinds of things, as they are very corporate sponsored and ultimately meaningless in terms of diversity of the real food scene, but it’s nice to see a local business highlighted in the news after a win. A quick poll between Kozy and one as yet unnamed other local bar, and the Burger Club picked Kozy Lounge to bring our big group of friends together.

All the Fixins

Very much in the same vein as Duffy’s Den, Kozy fills a niche that every city needs, in my opinion. A simple sports bar, with a bunch of TVs, some bar games, an eclectic jukebox and a group of regulars. In my experience, you usually can’t go wrong in this kind of environment. Even if you get a slightly-expired beer, or food that is a little less than perfect, you’re not going to feel that out of place.

This kind of neighborhood dive brings mostly good experiences, but there are some oddities about it. You will have a good time playing shuffleboard at the side of the bar, but you might want to avoid looking at the tar-stain colored ceiling. Feel free to put on whatever music fits your vibe, but don’t get too annoyed when someone plays four Blink-182 songs in a row. You take the good with the bad, and hopefully the good evens out at the end.

The service matched the environment perfectly. The lone bartender working that afternoon took care of all of us with a lot of skill, got most of our orders correct, and she wasn’t annoyed to cash in our meager pull-tab winnings. The lone cook managed to get out food for our huge group within 15 minutes of each other, which is no easy feat. I have nothing but good things to say about the staff here, and the staff is really what ties a dive bar together.

The menu, while surprisingly large, isn’t too big of a departure from any other bar menu. However, their Kat Burger, created for the Burger Battle and now a menu mainstay, features crispy bacon, fresh jalapenos, swiss cheese, and honey. Definitely a standout among their rest of the menu, it piqued my interest and that of several other club members. Other slightly less unique burgers on the menu are the signature Kozy Burger (with grilled onion, bacon and swiss), the sunny side burger (with american cheese, bacon, and egg), Ma’s burger (swiss, bacon, and mild peppers on grilled bread), as well as both an impossible burger and a black bean burger. Doubling down on vegetarian options is a plus.

Side options abound here – regular fries, curly fries, onion rings and tater tots are all great fried accessories to the burgers, but also corned beef egg rolls and pizza egg rolls, mozzarella sticks and jalapeno poppers. I had a hard time deciding what to go for in this group, as all fried potato options are great ones.

Our thoughts

Some of us loved Kozy’s offerings, and others were not so happy. Due to the size of our order, there were a couple mix ups in the kitchen, one person waited an extra amount of time for food, and several had pretty overcooked burgers. I will say that 16 orders for one party in the middle of a Sunday afternoon is not average, so I’m willing to give a bit of leeway, but it was still a pretty disappointing meal for many of us.

Personally, I enjoyed my Kat burger quite a bit. I thought the honey and swiss were a good foil for the jalapenos, with enough saltiness from the bacon and beef to balance it all out. While the burger itself was a bit on the small side, and mine also slightly overdone, the toppings served their function exceedingly well. The bun was unextraordinary, just a standard white burger bun, but the burger didn’t need a massive brioche to hold in all the juices, so it served its purpose quite well.

If I had to compare Kozy’s burgers to others, they remind me most of Nemo’s, with a great backyard cookout feel, but with a slightly more interesting approach and cooked with a little bit more love. There’s nothing to hate here, and it’ll scratch a burger itch exactly like you want it to.

The real star for many of us, however, were the sides. The tots, onion rings, well-seasoned curly fries and regular fries were all very well cooked. Crispy but soft on the inside, they really stole the show. We ordered some egg rolls as well, and while they weren’t the best I’ve ever had, they were tasty and more filling than I would have expected. Ultimately, I would not hesitate to come to Kozy just for fries and for the big servings of cheap beers.

Takeaway

As I do more of these over time, it gets harder to say that local institutions ‘aren’t good’ at anything with a review. And I certainly don’t ever mean to say that (unless it’s Applebee’s), because the truth of the matter is we all had a great time, even if the food didn’t hit on all fronts. The beer was cheap, the service was good, and we all were very happy to have a convenient place to check out and catch up. Kozy is and will continue to be what it is because it creates such a positive atmosphere for newcomers and oldtimers, and I’d highly recommend a visit to anyone close enough to Hazel Park for a visit.

Ratings:
Music Report: A strange amount of Blink 182.
Burger: 3.488
Service: 4.131
Atmosphere: 4.035
Value: 3.962
Overall Rating: 3.820 

Alex – “I loved being back with MCBC. I’m a little disappointed we didn’t go to [upcoming restaurant], also that Sala didn’t make an appearance, but happy to be back regardless! Can’t wait for more burgers to come!” 3/5
Alice –
“Pull tabs victory
Burger buds reunited
Shuffleboard is tense“ 4.5/5
Alicia – “Burger was good but those curly fries though… Also I enjoy any place that offers a 22 oz beer regardless of style. A rare pleasantry.” 4/5
Bonnie – ” I enjoyed my burger” 4.8/5
Brett – “The bun overwhelmed the flavor of the burger a bit. The burger was a bit overdone. It came with extra pickles which I really liked! Curly fries were good.” 3/5
Carl  –”Kat burger had a nice combination of mild spicy and sweetness from the the honey. I enjoyed it although the burger was cooked a little over done, understandable with there being 16 of us and one cook. The ambiance was great with the vintage beer mirrors all over the walls and the townies at the bar playing classic country hits. It feels very genuine and exactly what I’m looking for in a dive bar. Bun toasted nicely, a little thick. Patty was too small for so much bread. 5/5 onion rings, 3/5 curly fries (crispy but not hot).
Come in, be Kozy
See the sun open door breeze
Loaf and Lounge at ease“ 3.75/5
Emily – “Burger was fine for a dive bar. Kudos to the server for accommodating our large unannounced group. Overall though, I am surprised these burgers have won any awards. Nothing special. ” 3/5
Erik – “Small things could change. I love the honey on the burger and good quality bacon. The server was delightful and kind, which makes up for any imperfections. Would come for cheap beers every time; would always at least consider the burger. ” 4/5
Ian – ” I thought the honey on my burger was excellent. I spilled ketchup on myself and it was worth it.” 4/5
John – “Burger was overdone, which is a big drawback. Otherwise, very good food. Overall experience is fun as well.” 3/5
Michelle – “I had fun! The baby loved the pickles!” 3.5/5
Mike – “The superiority of the curly fries over crinkle cannot be overstated” 4/5
Phil – “This is a burger that I’m not mad I ate, but it is a burger I would not come back for. This is not a burger I would advertise beyond the fact that ‘WE HAVE BURGERS’. My burger was last to arrive out of 16 and somehow it was still not very warm. Did I offend this server by refusing a Bud Zero? Did I offend her by asking which type of fries are crispiest? Perhaps Kozy is a place where you should take what you are given. And if they gave me a burger, I would eat it. But I’m not sure I would seek out out here. Oh, by the way, the curly fries were great.” 2/5
Rachel – “Sides were great! Hamburgers were fine. Service wasn’t without flaws but we were a big complicated group, so that was expected.” 3/5
Sean – “Jeff is at swim school
I’ll have to do a haiku
The bun was not good.” 3/5
Scott – “I liked the place, I would probably to back but I wouldn’t go out of my way. The burger toppings were good, but the patty itself was lacking seasoning and was overcooked, which overshadowed the nice jalapeno and honey toppings. The fries were cold and the beers were a bit too expensive for that place. Overall, 3/5 for being average but accommodating our large group.”  3/5

Kozy Lounge
150 E 10 Mile Rd.
Hazel Park, MI 48030
(248) 547-5017

Burgers in the time of Corona

Everyone’s living through it right now. We’re cooped up inside, a little worried all the time or glued to the news. The new statistics are worrying, and it can be hard to find a little glimmer of hope when all you do is stay inside.  But we can’t be fine with that, we have to find ways to overcome the inherent bore that is the inside.  So MCBC took it upon ourselves to do something interesting.

Alice had the great idea – we’ve all got stocks of groceries right now, and a boatload of creativity – why not have a party where we make some of our own creations?

So we laid out some ground rules for our friends:
1) Everything is considered a patty this time. Make what you want!
2) Share a picture of your creation with us.
3) Join in on our video conference call so we can pretend we’re eating together!

Easy. Nobody was going anywhere so we knew we’d have some immediate buy-in. And we knew our friends were creative and talented cooks, but we didn’t expect the level of mastery they gave us!

Here’s some of the pantry patty creations that they came up with:

Carl and Alex: One regular cheeseburger and one feta cheese stuffed burger, on store bought brioche buns.

Carl: “I will say this about my cook-from-home burger experience. I used too much salt in the patty seasoning. I started my grill coals a little too soon because my grill temp was a little too low on the hot side. I think I had the patties at the right temp before moving them from indirect to over coals but then left them there for too long.

I will admit, getting burgers to the proper temperature on a charcoal grill is challenging, and I learned from the experience. Honestly the patties were so thick that it was almost a meatloaf situation. The long rest after removing them from the grill most likely took the burgers from medium/medium-well to firmly medium-well/well-done. I have gained a new appreciation for burger cooks who can properly serve a burger to a specified doneness.

Otherwise, the burger was great. To my own liking, you might say.My rating reflects the mistakes made by the chef in seasoning and doneness. Overall, 4/5.”

“Alex: I thought it was really good even though I was hangry and angry. Fries were top notch as well! don’t beat yourself up, Carl. ❤️🍔 “

Scott and Michelle:
Grilled chicken marinated in home made Alabama white BBQ sauce on a toasted bun with lettuce and tomato. On the side, grilled broccoli with lemon and olive oil.

Michelle: “Doneness was great. It was well done, which was good because it was chicken. The thin chicken thighs cooked quickly over the hot coals. Scott grilled the buns, they were good. Good job on flavors, Scott.

Our meal was mostly free freezer food,  plus some reasonably priced produce. I requested to work in the garden while the meal was being prepared. The request was granted. 

Our side was frozen broccoli grilled in a foil pack. Not bad.

The place looks nice to me, and it was nice to see friends via video chat. All restaurants would be better with Rosie (ed. note: Rosie is a very good dog.).” 5/5

Scott: “Michelle really stepped it up by getting the fresh and brightly colored produce from the Ferndale Project produce stand. The chicken had a nice char on it from the addition of the oil and sugar in the sauce. The organic buns were lightly coated in ghee, they turned out lightly crispy with a good flavor, but not overpowering.

The broccoli was organic and from Michigan Farm to Freezer, so the quality was pretty good, but it was frozen broccoli grilled in a foil pack. It was a little over done, which is typical of frozen veggies cooked this way. The addition of lemon juice brightened it up and saved it from a 2 rating.

It was not too crowded on a Sunday afternoon, good music selection by the other guests on the jukebox, everyone seemed really cool and unpretentious.

Some tips for other restaurants that want to achieve these high ratings: allow dogs, have a casual/relaxed atmosphere, let people get their own beer from the fridge, play good music, use fresh ingredients, toast your buns, have a patio/outdoor space to hang out on and a nice indoor space to eat in.” 5/5

Jeff and Rachel:
Bacon cheeseburger
Made at home in our own pan
I’m ready to nap

We used some organic ground beef from Costco, thick cut bacon, sharp cheddar, lettuce from our window, button mushrooms, shallots, and garlic. The buns were rolls delivered to us by a mystery baker from the internet.

I sauteed the mushrooms, shallots and garlic together and scooped it on the burger; that worked well for piling a bunch on. The bacon was oven cooked and came out pretty well. The lettuce was tasty but a little soft and delicate for a heavily topped burger.

I went pretty light on salt for the patties but there was plenty in the toppings to make up for it. The rolls were tasty. My only complaint is that they were a bit firm for bun duty. I put some mayo on mine and Rachel used a mayo/sriracha/garlic sauce she made for the fries.

I cooked my patty medium rare, Rachel’s medium well (as she is currently required to eat). Mine was good but the firm rolls kind of squished it out as I bit, which was messy and a bit unpleasant. Even so I’m not sure I would have cooked it differently.

For our side dish Rachel made sweet potato fries with the aforementioned sauce. She pressed the fries in a towel, then coated them in oil, followed by corn starch. They crisped nicely in the convection oven. Once they were done she dusted them with sea salt that had been powdered in a blender.

Wow I wrote a bunch
That’s not usual for me
I hope you like it

Phil: All beef kafta burger with cucumber-mint labne sauce with Pickled turnips and topped with za’atar spice.

The recipe calls for one medium onion, pulverized and drained, to mix with a pound of ground beef. I oblige. The fumes of the onion mash are searing, but I use my bare hands to press it into the strainer, juicing it like a cider. Milky serum dribbles over my thumb and between my fingers as I feel the cold wet communion with this timeless and essential vegetable. I have created something of this onion that I have never created before. Reducing it to a sloppy paste might seem like a complete act of dominance, but the onion is not taken so easily. Working with an onion is inherently a two-way relationship. It fights back. Expect to be affected.

But now, after such an intimate experience in the strainer, my eyes, the stinging—it suddenly feels necessary. There are things an onion can do to a dish that nothing else can. The onion accepts no imitation and asserts itself at the first incision. Sure, there are tips and tricks to reduce the onion tears, but this bulb was shredded into oblivion by a horrifically violent and unnaturally whirling apparatus. When the lid came off, the airborne swarm of oxidized sulfenic acid came billowing up in retaliation. I had stepped back only a moment before reentering it without a conscious thought. It just seemed my duty. I widened my eyes to thin the tears across the surface, but this only served to leave them more exposed. So I squinted and pressed the water out the sides and onto my cheeks as I slid the mass into the strainer over the sink. Were these drops the involuntary reflex of my lachrymal glands, or were these real tears of masochistic joy, a solemn rejoice at being so physically affected by another body after 41 days in near complete isolation?

Puzzling this and the sensation of the cold flesh between my palm and the steel mesh, I return the pulp to the blender with the meat and host of other spices. Moments later, the air that was once blindingly on fire is now sweet and perfumed with the lively mix of parsley, garlic, coriander, nutmeg, paprika, clove, among others. The patties have trouble staying together (as kafta is not built for such size, and usually includes a skewer for stability), and with my temperature too low at first they cook clear through. Still, the smell is invitation enough. Crowned with labne, cucumber, mint and pickled turnips aside from the classic lettuce and tomato, it makes a formidable burger.

I bite. Everything I smell holds true, and the first moment is a stage dance of brightly plumed costumes across my tongue. But then, something washes over. Something acrid and overbearing. It washes through my mouth and up into my sinuses like a Listerine. The onion. Vengeance from beyond the grave. There’s too much! It was too big! Goddamnit! Goddamn this fucking onion. Goddamnit all to Hell.

4 out of 5.

Sean L.: For the Pantry Patty Party I present: this grilled turkey burger. Placed on a toasted Target brand bun, with muenster cheese skirt, sliced cherry tomatoes and bread and butter spears. Garnished with leftover kroger premade salad greens, thousand island on the base and mayonnaise on top bun.

This is the first burger I’ve made at home and it turned out much better than I expected!

If I were to do something different I would have found better/fresher ingredients, this patty came from the pantry.

Since quarantining, I’ve been craving steak, and a cookies and cream milkshake. This was not that.

6/5 (they’re all good burgers Brent)

Sean C.: Quinoa and mushroom patty with labne, za’atar, and chive sauce, spicy mustard, tomato, provolone, red onion and avocado. Sides of fries and raw carrots. Dessert of tajin peach pie. Ginger lemonade.

I got the recipe from the Epicurious app, hoping to find a meat-free recipe that was straightforward and would hold together, as I’ve not had much success homemade veggie patties. I had not made it before, and it did not turn out well. The size patty the recipe called for would have been massive, so I made smaller patties, compressed them as tightly as I could, and then flattened them, and could tell before cooking they wouldn’t hold together. The outside of the patties crisped and the inside only heated up, so they fell apart. I used more than the recommended amount of sweet potato as a binder, but that didn’t help. I may try again, because I don’t know if it was my failure or the recipe’s. The combination of quinoa, mushrooms, and sweet potato had a lot of promise, so I’d like to get these to work. The bun was a nice white local bun from chef’s best. Lightly toasted and inoffensive. Toppings were obviously bought fresh this morning.

Next time I would try a lower heat in the pan, and not multitask while they are cooking. I would also use breadcrumbs that are more coarse, because I think the fine grained crumbs I had on hand absorbed moisture and turned into mush and didn’t contribute much. The leftovers were also really good with scrambled eggs, so next time I would also fry up smaller chunks à la breakfast sausage.

The fries were slightly burned but the pie compensated.  I would really like some ice cream with it. I’ve been eating better during the pandemic than before, but I don’t have a freezer and the weather hasn’t consistently warmed.

For the appearance, They’re clearly trying to improve the place here, but I wish they would hurry up and finish. The ambiance was great though.  it’s like the music was from my own playlist and decorated with me in mind. The crowd? Perfection.

Burgers and COVID,
We’re all in this together.
Sum’s greater than parts.

3.5/5

Lindsay and Ian:
Turkey burgers with lots of green onions and duck fat in the patty, seasoned with szechuan pepper. Fancy horseradish mustard and homemade mayo-based Russian dressing, lettuce-tomato-onions on toasted brioche. Duck fat oven fries and salad. Meijer bakery buns were top-notch.

Erik and Alice: 

Quarter pound medium Rare bison patty topped with deeply caramelized onions, kale marinated with balsamic vinegar and rubbed with olive oil, and Castello danish blue cheese on homemade milk bread buns with a side of crispy home fries cooked in pork fat.

Erik: “The doneness was perfect and probably the best I could ask for with bison meat, which gets dry if it’s overcooked. It was incredibly juicy, and the onions added some sweetness. The acidity in the kale and the funkiness of the blue cheese all contributed tons of flavor.

If I made these again, i’d go a little easier on the blue cheese because it is delicious but strong, and the subtleties of the bison are easy to cover up. We made these burgers again the next night with leftover bison, and used goat cheese, which was a little milder and worked well.

The home fries we made were some of the best I’ve had in ages. They kind of remind me of Golden Harvest’s (in Lansing) but done with less skill. Sliced small, par-boiled, drained, tossed in oil and spices, then pan fried until crispy.” 5/5

Alice: “I wouldn’t change anything about the burger except the buns! The toppings we used were perfect and the patty was well-seasoned and cooked. The only part of the burger that I’d made before was the caramelized onions.

The buns had some issues rising, but they held up and it actually was nice that they were so thin, since the bison patty was so thick. To fix the bun issue, we could use a different method to keep the salt further from the yeast and pay closer attention to our rise times since this batch was probably over-proved.

The home fries we made were pretty good, but they may have soaked up a little too much oil since the heat was too low when they first started cooking. The seasoning was really good though, I don’t even remember what spices we used now. Probably pepper, Penzey’s seasoning salt, garlic powder, onion powder, thyme, and oregano. ” 5/5

The Ratings:
Turns out we rate ourselves pretty highly. I had folks fill out rating forms, and for those that did, the value and topping quality ratings were off the charts. There was some iffiness on ratios and doneness – which can be fixed with practice.

Our server ratings ended up being about how much we liked ourselves (seems that most of us are doing good there) and our speed was not as great as it could have been, but we’ve got plenty of time to spare right now.

Expecting our kitchens to be as clean as a professional one, though? No way.

Burger: 4.252
Service: 4.722
Atmosphere: 4.396
Value: 4.957
Overall Rating: 4.534 (If this was going on our rankings, we’d win)

Takeaways: 
1) Make sure to stay close with your friends and do bizarre things together, even if its via video chat right now! It goes a long way to combating loneliness.

2) We all have our own ways of cooking and eating, and nobody is right or wrong for their preferences. Everyone’s burgers looked wonderful and I was very happy with how our bison burgers turned out!

3) Cooking is a great way to be creative. Think of your favorite thing to eat. Now what would make that even better or more interesting. You can make that – even if its a ton of work!

Duffy’s Den: Determined to be Delicious

In times that might feel overwrought, too political, too stressful, we often revert to the things that comfort us the most. A warm sweater, a classic rock record your parents used to play, a bowl of soup. It’s totally natural to crave those old senses of comfort, tied together by sounds, smells, feelings, and sights. Our brains are great at tricking us into thinking we are in a different place, in a different time, with a (hopefully) more pleasant feeling.

These warm positive nostalgic feelings often come from memories of childhood, but they also stem from what we think as simpler times (Even when they most assuredly were not). My memories of Sunday nights at Crunchy’s in college, football on a cool morning, and not having to worry about anything except how to pay for my next cheap beer really resonate with me – and Duffy’s brought them out.

Duffy’s Den is a old school dive sports bar. They’re everywhere, with their exteriors not looking like much, and the interiors with all of their own quirks, but the sum of their existence feeling like something outside of themselves, an entity existing everywhere and nowhere in the universe – much like Douglas Adam’s restaurant at the end of the universe, or Neil Gaiman’s World’s End Tavern – the location doesn’t matter, and the stories within these pubs pass freely between them.  It’s something about that feeling of being out of place while also being in exactly the right place that evokes memories of an idyllic world that doesn’t exist.

In the real world, Duffy’s is in Detroit, just a couple blocks outside of Redford. It doesn’t look like much, of course, but based on the slightly worn awning, mid century brickwork, and a notice of their ‘giant plasma TV’, you’d expect a pleasant time or at least a cheap beer and an interesting conversation with the bartender. We had a smaller group than usual, but a host of our Burger Club regulars came with us to evaluate the scene. The bar was half full at this point with regulars, family, and folks watching sports or having a meal. It felt welcoming immediately, and the server/bartender went out of her way to come set us up at our table right away, despite our obvious newness in the environment.

This is what the Last Supper would look like if it took place at a Midwestern Bar.

There’s a jukebox, there’s darts, a pinball machine, and there’s some interesting older hybrid urinal toilets in the bathroom. All the quirks you want, and most of the amenities (though I wouldn’t mind a shuffleboard table). Their drink list is simple but has some Michigan drafts on it –  and an Oberon or a Two Hearted never let anyone down. I was surprised and happy to see that they have Molson on tap for cheap which provides a simple, sweet and crisp mouthfeel that accompanies a burger and fries perfectly. I’ve only seen this one other place – Motor City Sports Bar in Hamtramck – which deepened my feeling of being at home.

The menu has a lot of pub food – and only pub food. Simple sandwiches, fried sides, burgers, and chili (which I didn’t try, and seems to be a specialty here.) They use Wigley’s corned beef for their reubens and corned beef sandwiches, and tout their use of Dimaggio’s breads baked just down the street in Redford for their sandwiches. They only list the ground round (1/3 lb patty, lettuce, tomato, onion and pickle) and the St. Patty melt (with swiss cheese and grilled onions on rye) as their burger selections.

It’s a bold move to be so simple with only two burger options – it means that the cooks either don’t care about what is put out, or they are entirely confident and unashamed about what their product is. With simple ingredients and toppings, you can’t hide a poorly cooked burger. This is the opposite route of places like Taystee, who use so many flavorful ingredients that you could put anything vaguely beefy between the buns and end up with a decent meal. Duffy’s doubles down on their menu choices with a low price point – six dollars for a basic burger, 50 cents for cheese, 75 cents for bacon. two dollars for onion rings, tots, or fries, and you’ve got a filling meal for 8 dollars or an extravagant one for 12.

Of course, this low price could go either way, towards burger bliss or towards oblivion. When many pub burgers can sell for up to twenty dollars in some places, it can give you pause to expect a good meal for this cheap. Fortunately, Duffy’s pulled it off. They cooked our burgers mostly as we ordered (my medium rare turned out pleasantly pink in the center, despite the relative thinness of the patty) on simple, lightly toasted buns with fresh ingredients. The patties had plenty of flavor, simple seasoning, and weren’t oozing juice everywhere.

I’d guess that the patties are relatively lean, especially if they are actually ground round as advertised. Round tends to be around 85% to 90% lean, compared to the 80% lean of chuck steak, which is more commonly seen in cheap burgers of this type. That small difference in fat content can make a big difference in a ground meat patty. Round contributes a bit cleaner of a flavor, while chuck meat can give a stronger savory and fatty punch. The presumed round works well in this burger to complement the other ingredients as a whole. Tomatoes, lettuce and onions working as a group with the freshness and lean beefy notes of the ground round to provide a good overall experience.

Erik proudly shows off his newborn burger.

Clean, tasty, cooked right.

Alongside these clean, beefy fresh burgers, duffy’s served some of the finest sides I’ve had – perfectly cooked waffle fries, onion rings that had the right amount of crisp without any onion worm syndrome, tots with a nice crisp on the inside and softness on the inside. I can’t really say too much beyond that. They were what you want when you order these things, and hardly anybody could be disappointed by them.

They look greasy but they taste perfect. Gimme some ranch.

Crisp waffle fries with just enough seasoning.

I have no qualms about Duffy’s. I admit I was skeptical to hear of another place recently pop up on the burger radar after being open for so long, because a lot of hype goes into some small places without any backup sometimes. But I was happy to be there with my friends, happy to be among a friendly crowd, and happy to get the chance to eat something perfectly familiar while totally new in a place outside of time.

I’ve written a lot about nostalgia and memories on this blog, because a lot of positive feelings that we evoke come from meals we’ve eaten, the people we’ve shared them with, and the belief that breaking bread with someone is the best way to equalize everyone. But it’s also often the reason that a restaurant really strikes me in a way that makes me feel good. Duffy’s hits all the nostalgia check marks for me. A Lions game on TV, some old friends and some new ones, a simple burger and a cheap beer. They hit the spot.

The remnants of a solid meal.

Ratings:
Music Report: Not bad! Pretty much what you’d expect at a dive bar.
Burger: 4.038
Service: 4.653
Atmosphere: 4.275
Value: 4.186
Overall Rating: 4.235  <—- Our new Second place!

Alex – “I feel the location is a determining factor in not returning, but if they were in Hamtramck I think we’d come every Sunday.” 3/5
Alice – “One burger menu
Fast service and perfect sides
And the Lions game” 4.5/5
Carl  – “One third pound ground round
Hamburgers make me happy
Duffy’s Den is Zen”4.2/5″
Erik – “I’m very impressed
By simple and good burgers
Everything is good” 5/5
Brett-   “The pickles are great/
I cant get enough to eat/
the burgers are fine”4.2/5
Sean – “Tasty Tater Tots
Carl is giving me five
Cause Lions are bad” 4.5/5
Michelle – 4/5
Scott –   4/5

 

“Duffy’s Den is Burger Zen”

Duffy’s Den
 24800 W McNichols Rd, Detroit, MI 48219
(313) 538-0040

Taystee’s: Top Up Your Tank, Top Up Your Burger

While it took some time to get this event together, as life tends to get in the way of eating burgers with big groups of your friends, the MCBC was happy to get together and enjoy some high class fast food burgers at Taystee’s.

A review at Taystee’s was a long time coming. We did a review at Brome in 2017 (which has since expanded to downtown Detroit), where I discussed the popularity of the halal burger trend in Dearborn and the ferocity with which the public consumed it. The instagrammability of these burgers is palpable, and their focus on classic burger restaurant items makes it instantly appealing to all backgrounds. While California Burgerz in Hamtramck takes a similar approach as these restaurants with their halal approach to American burger joints, it focuses only on one particular famous California chain to emulate. Famous Hamburger, Good Burger, and Taystee’s take a wholly unique approach. With a suggestion by longtime burger clubber Phil (Ten plus years of Burger Club experience!) who was craving a Taystee’s burger, we took a trip down I-94 to Dearborn.

Taystee’s main focus is their toppings. Their workers talk up their Notch-yo burger topped with lettuce, tomato, jalapeno, grilled onions, swiss, pepper jack cheese, nacho cheese, beef bacon, nacho cheese doritos, and hot sauce on an onion bun. This burger with a CVS receipt sized ingredient list won an award for best burger at a Burger Brawl in Detroit in 2016, which they proudly display on their menu and with a trophy in the store. It effectively sums up their menu’s theme – lots of options, lots of toppings, something for everyone.

What’s not to like with a description like that? Well, maybe one thing, depending on what kind of person you are – Taystee’s is in a gas station. A BP, specifically, on Ford road, directly across from Ford’s Drive-In, close enough to the Ford Rouge plant and administration buildings as well as other industrial businesses. Taystee’s is not the first restaurant to open in this space. It was originally the home of the original Good Burger, whose popularity allowed them to expand to three different standalone storefronts. The setup was very similar, but Taystee’s popularity has allowed the small restaurant space to expand into a little more space and pack a good amount of tables in their portion of the building.

They’ve made this work pretty well, despite the small size. Order at one end of the counter, get your name called, pick up condiments and drinks in a different area. It’s much like many giant franchise fast food restaurants, but a little more condensed. The concept might seem weird, but it’s hard to argue against the fact that the restaurant is wildly popular. People love these burgers. Every table was full when we got in at 1 pm on a Sunday, with several other groups waiting for takeout.

Their odd situation has its quirks and its drawbacks. A keymaster arcade machine for winning sneakers is prominently displayed on the path to the dining area, with a lot of expensive single shoes and the note that ‘sizes are adjustable’. You can grab non-fountain drinks on your way out the door or get some gas if needed. But the parking situation is bad, and cars line up along the edges of the lot to go in for food. And despite the amount of tables they are able to get in the dining space, we still opted to take our food over to Downey Brewing – a very short drive – because we could not fit ten people in there comfortably.

Alex is overjoyed hinking about how cool she will look in the shoes she wins

Burgers and high end sneakers, at the same time.

Downey is one of my favorite laid-back breweries in the area, which is often skipped over by tourists in favor of bigger breweries like Founder’s, Batch and Atwater. Their loss! The beers are solid, the service is incredibly friendly, and they have a giant warehouse space to pack all your burger-loving friends into.

Downey doesn’t serve food, but they do let you bring in whatever you’d like. When you’re done eating, you can play darts on actual cork boards, or participate in one of their yoga groups or bike rides. They’re passionate about what they do and make a real commitment to being part of their community in very positive ways. We’re not rating Downey here, but I will say that I personally love their space and what they do.

Downey’s Bar and taproom space.

Because their menu includes a build-a-burger option with a slew of topping options for both the fries and the burgers, and a large pre-built burger menu, you can really order any way you want here. Chicken and veggie patties are also available if you’re not into their ground beef. Since it’s a halal restaurant, all the bacon is beef, which is not quite the same for some of us. Taystee’s also has two different kind of fries with four different kinds of seasonings and a surprisingly big  selection of sides, wraps, hot dogs and quesadillas.

On the spectrum of burger extravagance, the MCBC ranged from the standard to the extreme. A few ordered the Taystee Original – lettuce, tomato, pickles, american cheese, grilled onion, and Taystee sauce on a brioche bun. In the middle of the spectrum,  we had the notch-yo burger, the cool ranch burger (similar to the notch-yo but with cool ranch doritos and sour cream instead of nacho sauce) and the pizza burger (with fresh basil, mozzarella sticks, pizza sauce, swiss cheese and ranch on a pretzel bun). At the end of the spectrum are the knockwurst burger (1/2 knockwurst plus patty, coleslaw, fries, beef bacon, fried egg, grilled onions, pepper jack and spicy mayo) and Lindsay’s breakfast burger (with a fried egg, beef bacon, swiss cheese, grilled onions, green peppers, tomato and Taystee sauce served between two grilled cheese sandwiches).

Ranch Burger

Notch-Yo Burger

Clearly Taystee is pushing their stunt burgers, designed to be flashy and show off the huge amount of things they can stuff on their burgers. Of course, they are good to highlight in newspapers and to entice your friends via social media. But none of that matters if they don’t taste good – nobody is going to head back after an initial visit if they don’t deliver a big punch of flavor and textures they expect.

Luckily, the stunt burgers that we ordered seemed to fare pretty well – they were big, mostly pretty messy, and packed with ingredients. The huge amount of cheese and sauces the cooks use are a big part of it. I found that my chips on the notch-yo held up better than i’d expect, and the contrasting textures were a big help, but I couldn’t taste the bacon among everything else. The properly seasoned but well-done burger patty (advertised as 5 oz) held up with the other toppings and incorporated a big beefy texture into the sometimes overwhelming amount of ingredients that came in one bite. My onion bun held up the ingredients fairly well without getting soggy or falling apart (but others had burgers that did not fare as well).

But the real test of this burger is if it holds up with a relatively normal topping set – those who ordered the classic burger. A common complaint from everyone in this set was that there was too much sauce, making the burger sloppy and detracting from the neatness of the burger. Alex and Phil liked how the patty held up with the seasoning and juiciness despite its well-done level, while Scott and Michelle were not big fans of the overdone burger, with no option to cook it less. Their thoughts were echoed by a few who ordered the stunt burgers as well, and while I liked my notch-yo burger, I fully agree with them on principle. So many flavors together can be overwhelming and subtract from the base experience of eating a good burger, which is a well cooked juicy patty of ground beef, accented by a few toppings or balancing out its inherent punch of umami and fat.

With 5 oz patties, they really have no reason to cook everything well-done or not give doneness options. A third of a pound of meat can be a lot, and even when the patties are thin can be charred at high heat relatively quickly and still have some pink in the middle. Even Brome when they opened were offering the choices of medium versus well done, and now seem to be actually cooking their burgers to order. So if you order a plain cheeseburger at Taystee, you’ll end up with something that is plenty good, but not superlative, with an overcooked texture.  If you order a lot of toppings, as is Taystee’s expectation, you might not taste that patty at all.

The fries as well were hit or miss with our group. Some of the flavorings were too nice, some were overpowering and some were too subtle. The lemon pepper fries were barely lemony, while the cajun and ranch fries were loaded with seasoning. They were all cooked correctly, and were plenty crispy without being oily, so I found the toppings unnecessary. Nobody tried the curly fries or other sides this time, but they don’t seem to be highlighted on the menu.

I don’t mean to sound too harsh on Taystee here, because everyone rated their food well, as you can see below, and we all had a great time talking about our wild burgers and how Taystee pulled it off. We talked about what makes a burger experience good, and if the gas station detracts from the experience or not (we’re still undecided). They ended up near the middle of the pack of our ranking, which seems appropriate. They do a lot of things right, the prices are excellent, they have a completely unique take on burgers, and they have a huge variety of options. However, they missed the mark for some of us in a few places.

Their popularity is clearly known to Dearborn and beyond, as is expressed via their social media ratings on Yelp and google, and the packed dining room when we visited. They have a lot of reasons to be liked, and who knows? Maybe that pizza burger is exactly what you need right now.

Ratings:
Music Report: If there was any, you couldn’t hear it.
Burger: 3.9083
Service: 4.45
Atmosphere: 3.98
Value: 4.17
Overall Rating: 4.067 

Alex Purdy-Hall- “Really wanted to win some Yeezys from the machine but settled for a mediocre/weird tasting burger instead.” 4/5
Alice–  4.5/5
Carl Hall-Purdy (ordered the notch-yo burger) – “Nacho cheese, onion roll, doritos, jalapenos. Interesting combination. I scarfed it down. It Hit. The. Spot.”4.06/5″
Erik – “It is awesome they have done so well in this space with a huge and varied menu. Could step up with burger doneness levels but all other aspects on point.” 4.5/5
Ian (ordered the Knockwurst burger)-  “If they can get away from the fumes of a gas station, I might eat in, but as it is I can’t see myself returning very often. The specialty burgers seem a bit over the top. I lost track of the fried egg, but the knockwurst was Taystee.”4/5
Jeff – “A pizza burger
Mozzarella sticks on top
Who thinks of this shit?

So Cheesy, Such Salt
This burger is delicious
But the meat is lost” 4/5
Lindsay (ordered the breakfast burger) – “Normally don’t go for extravagantly topped burgers, but this was DELICIOUS. Would swap bacon for pickles.” 5/5
Michelle – “-Oversauced
-Good Lettuce
-Good bun” 3.5/5
Phil –  “I Don’t put 5s often, but I honestly don’t know what else I could ask for from this burger. The brioche and grilled onions make it sweeter than most burgers, but the patty is savory enough to make it taste complex. Sweet. Savory. Taystee. (MAYBE too much sauce, sloppy sloppy)” 5/5
Scott – “Should have tried to order at least mid-rare. Patty was decently seasoned but overcooked. Way too much sauce.”  4/5

Taystee’s Burgers
10419 Ford Rd, Dearborn, MI 48126
Phone: (313) 724-6535

(Thank you Carl for use of your photos!)

Nemo’s Bar: Sailing the Seas of Cheeseburgers

A Piece of History; A Piece of Detroit

In 1965, Nemo’s Bar opened right across the street from Tiger Stadium, the home of the Detroit Tigers since 1912, and the Detroit Lions since 1938. Nemo’s picked a prime spot for sports fans and Corktown locals searching for a beer, a burger, and a good time. While a lot has changed in the Detroit sports landscape, and Tiger Stadium closed in 1999, Nemo’s has adapted. When the Red Wings and Tigers moved downtown, they’ve provided shuttles out to Comerica Park and Joe Louis Joe Arena. With the addition of Ford Field for the Lions and Little Caesars Arena for the Wings and the Pistons,  they have transportation, beers, and food for every game (not to mention some bigger concerts). As you can imagine, Nemo’s gets a lot of visitors.

Despite their reputation for sports, Nemo’s has been a part of Detroit forever, as a hangout, a gathering location, and a place to get a cheap and good meal while chatting with the bartenders and your friends. Serving both of those dual purposes has been a big part of Nemo’s staying power. New customers come and make memories, while old customers remember the good ones, and the cycle continues.

At this point, I’m not an old customer. I’ve been there plenty of times, for games and not for games, usually to grab a beer, sometimes to get a shuttle down to Comerica. Either way, I like coming, I like the feeling of excitement from the crowd and the anticipation of the game with a bunch of die-hards. I also like the off-hours when it’s mostly quiet and the bartenders have time to talk instead of serving everyone quickly. For these reasons, I knew that the time had finally come for the Burger Club to do a review.

Beyond the Nostalgia

Nemo’s is not a complicated place, especially on game days. Park in their huge lots, for free (convenient!). Buy a three dollar shuttle ticket for a game (round trip) and a beer. Grab a table if you can find one outside or in the front room, or sneak through the bathroom hallway and you’ll find another hidden room (seriously, this visit was the first time I’ve noticed it). If you do, there will be a busy but seasoned server to help out. They are used to the crowds, but forgive them a mistake here and there.

A gloomy day for baseball.

The beer list is not a terrible one, but it is also not great. It includes all of the domestic beers you might expect, plus a couple Michigan staples. You can expect to find an Oberon in the summer and a Two Hearted ale all year round, but not much else in terms of craft beers (luckily, Batch Brewing and Brew Detroit are nearby and have great beers). The biggest issue with this list is the price, at a premium due to the volume of customers. Five dollars for a 12 oz bottle of high life is almost as much as you’ll pay at Comerica Park. their draft pours for five or six dollars are more reasonable, but still ridiculous.

Lindsay isn’t impressed with five dollar beers.

A pretty big lunch menu!

I imagine there are practical purposes for the prices too, to discourage drunkenness at their bar, on their shuttles, or at the game, but it feels disingenuous.

Their menu, like the beer list, is also simple, especially on game days. Their regular lunch menu board is not quite active during games as their kitchen is trying to move orders fast. You can order some pretty basic burger and grilled chicken sandwich combos, instead of the whole impressive-looking menu board. You also won’t get a choice of how well-done your burger will be cooked. Bummer.

There’s nothing bad about a simple menu. if your cooks are good, and the product is good, people will want to buy your food. For instance, we praised California Burgerz very highly, despite their simple preparations and tiny menu. Nemo’s is attempting the same thing here. For their burgers, they claim their secret to a good product is the meat, coming from Rex Packing on Miller, and containing the right blend of fat to lean meat for a juicy and flavorful burger.

A Burger for the People

Despite a good dose of nostalgia, and the good ol’ days, and memories of eating a burger with your old man, what was Nemo’s really offering?

A rather unremarkable looking burger. It has all the parts, for sure, raw white onion, pickle (singular, because there was one lonely pickle slice), tomato, lettuce, and a blanket of melted American cheese. It amounts to a serviceable visual experience. Those fries look crispy, though!

Put it all together, and cut it in half, and it’s looking less interesting. The meat was cooked all the way through, and that bun is very average. Luckily there are some pretty good quality ingredients to top it. The meat was fine, if a little under seasoned, and the patties managed to stay relatively juicy, which I would credit to the high fat content of the meat.

What it amounted to was a standard but pretty good backyard barbecue burger. It brings up more memories of summers with your parents and your uncles’ not great cooking skills, which for most people are still positive experiences. Nobody is going to complain about this burger. It does what it is supposed to do, fill you up and satisfy your burger craving. The price isn’t bad, either. It’s going to run you under 9 bucks. This burger doesn’t, however, make you stop and ponder the meaning of life, or pause and wonder what higher power blessed you with such a delicious morsel.

But those fries? They were good, Crispy, hot, soft in the middle. The ideal of an American french fry.

The Ins, The Outs, the What-Have-Yous

You’re making a choice when you come to Nemo’s. You’re going to get a simple meal from a limited menu. The prices are going to be okay, and the convenience can’t be beat. You’ll see the decades of history on the walls and in the patrons bringing their parents and children to share memories and a good time. There is no doubt this is a joyful place, and it would not only be wrong for me to bring it down, it would be incorrect.

I am thankful to share days like these with good friends, some pretty good food, and a good baseball game (even if the Tigers lost and it was raining all day). Nemo’s was part of that experience, and it will continue to be part of my experience whenever I want to go downtown for sports.

I will note that on days I’ve been here without games, the burger can be cooked to order, and I’ve had great experiences with an above-average burger (and other sandwiches). That patty CAN be good when seasoned and cooked correctly! It’s worth a visit on the off hours if you’re looking for a specifically good burger at a nice old dive bar.

I wish they could nail that experience consistently at busy times, but it’s harder to do a great burger in a large volume. When you’ve got to feed hundreds of hungry Tigers/Red Wings/Lions/Pistons fans, you might be making a few sacrifices.

Whatever you go for, you’re probably going to enjoy yourself and share in the happiness of the crowd that frequents Nemo’s. And if you’re anything like me, you’ll probably come away with a story or two to share when the day is done.

Hope you remembered your sunscreen, Carl.

Ratings:
Music Report: Odd + Questionable.
Burger: 3.114
Service: 3.81
Atmosphere: 4.02
Value: 2.99
Overall Rating: 3.37

Alex P.-  “I was the first one done because the dang thing fell apart in my hands. I took too many bites of just toppings. BIG disappointment. “ 2/5
Alice – ” No requests allowed!” 3/5
Carl “Hall” – “No special accommodations, game day prices increase? This was like a mediocre backyard BBQ burger. Not worth it. ” 2/5
Erik – “They are out of onion rings? They are propped up by the old school vibe and are clearly a big part of a lot of families’ histories and Tigers experiences. It’s a fun vibe and the staff are on their game. ” 3.5/5
Ian –  “The atmosphere is quality despite the questionable music. The burger was well done despite my request for med-rare. If it wasn’t gameday I would have been more critical, but it was a good experience overall.” 3/5
Jeff – “The Game Day Burger
Has certain limitations
Fuckin’ Game day Bro!” 4/5
Lindsay – ” I liked the fries. It was a good “backyard burger” as Erik said. The pickles were fabulous. The game day effect was pronounced – the fact that they were all well done was understandable. It was still tasty. ” 3/5
Rachel –  3/5

“What’s the deal with airplane food?”

Nemo’s Bar  (website is currently down)
1384 Michigan Ave, Detroit, MI 48226
Open 11am-12am 7 Days a week
(313) 965-3180
https://www.facebook.com/DetroitClassic/

California Burgerz, On a winter’s day

In a city where residents are surrounded by delicious food from cultures everywhere, it was almost controversial to hear that a burger place was opening on Bangladesh Avenue. Not just a burger place, but one that uses a Z in its name, and gives homage to the American burger mecca, In N’ Out. California Burgerz was coming.

I was very skeptical initially. Of course, being into this kind of thing, I was also very excited. And, don’t tell anyone this, but I’ve never been to In N’ Out. I know, I know. Someday.  With my traveling shortcomings and my appetite in mind, it was imperative for me to try California Burgerz as soon as possible.

CB opened in winter, inviting us to bask in their sunny California glow and take respite from the bleak Michigan landscape. As we drove the  ten or so blocks to the restaurant, we felt the warmth of California shining on us. The air pulsing with heat, humidity, hollywood boulevard, and a hint of ocean breeze. Of course, it could have just been my car’s heater finally kicking in on the wet winter day, but I choose to believe the alternative.

‘Should have brought a swimsuit’, I thought in my head, before bouncing my car into of a massive pothole and into their parking lot. Tucked away in a strip mall, California Burgerz still manages to be incredibly visible. It’s bright, tiled with a white and red checkered pattern, and very bold. Bright menus, signage, and clean surfaces sparkle at you from every angle. 50’s Rock and roll plays on the stereo, and classic fast food booth and table setup fills most of the rest of the space. I think Phil summed up the aesthetic here pretty effectively: “The halal re-imagining of a selectively nostalgic American ideal.” 

They double down on the California aesthetic with a black and white mural on the far wall, with a collage of things like the Universal studios globe, the Hollywood sign, and LAX for some reason. It could work, but the image is a little odd, and the graphic scaling means it has all sorts of pixelation. The wall next to the entrance is a million times better, being covered with pictures of burgers drawn by local kids. Not only are they amazing pictures, but their presence really show that CB is already taking steps to be a local hangout.

Everyone’s favorite thing about California – LAX.

We could get some logo ideas here.

Owner Hani Omasan, who also owns a used car lot in Hamtramck, echoed that thought when he told Metro Times he wanted to create a space for teenagers to hang out. It seems to be working so far, and brings in teenagers and families looking for a simple and good meal. Others have taken notice, too: CB has blown up in popularity since opening, getting praise from Free Press food critic Mark Kurlyandchik, Local 4 news, local food bloggers, and the Arab American News, among others. That nostalgic-but-new aesthetic is drawing people in, and the food is cementing it.

Along with their nostalgic look, the menu is simple – ten burger choices and one chicken sandwich. Sliders, big burgers, giant burgers, a veggie burger, and a turkey burger round out the choices so you can invite everyone with different dietary needs. The menu and signage note that all their burgers are cooked well done. For a pub style burger, or one at a place like Brome, that’s inexcusable. For a thin diner style patty like CB has, that’s just fine.

Collecting our bearings after braving the cold.

If you’re familiar with In N’ Out’s animal-style menu items, then you won’t be too surprised to find that CB has their “Gorilla” items instead. While they aren’t exactly the same thing- an Animal style burger at In N’ Out means a burger grilled in mustard and topped with thousand island and grilled onions, and CB does not mustard-grill their patties while switching the standard bun for a pretzel bun. The gorilla branding tells you exactly what they are aiming for, and it works. For a relatively simple menu, the Gorilla style adds a unique flair.

Ordering is quick, and after you’re given a number for your food you’ll have to wait five or ten minutes, as they make everything to order. With ten of us, our orders all came out within 15 minutes and we covered most of the menu selection. I got the double CB burger with grilled onions instead of raw, hoping for a simple burger to highlight the restaurant’s strengths. Their standard toppings include lettuce, tomato, onions, pickles, american cheese, and CB sauce, all served on a brioche bun. The CB sauce is a mayo based sauce not unlike thousand island dressing – savory and a little sweet. It a simple combination of ingredients for a simple burger.

This burger looks really nice.

I was very enthusiastic about this burger. I continue to be enthusiastic about this burger. It looked perfect wrapped in paper, and the cross section was almost as impressive. It worked well with its balance of acidity from the pickles, sweetness from the sauce, salt and umami from the patty, onions and cheese, and texture with the tomato and lettuce. There was more color in the patty than I expected, which was a nice surprise, and the meat tasted fresh, although not overflowing with flavor.

It does what it sets out to do – it’s a simple burger cooked on a flattop and combined with good ingredients, sold at a reasonable price point. As most of us can attest, it’s easy to find this type of diner burger that is dry, flavorless, and boring. CB’s burgers are juicy and filled with flavor. Their burgers emulate the In N’ Out style in a way that appeals to locals with unique dietary needs. And most importantly,they are very tasty.

The only thing that I thought was a little lacking was the bun, which was be a bit dry, and I would have preferred a potato roll to add some chew and some sweetness. Ordering the pretzel bun, which I’ve done upon returning, alleviates the issue pretty well. While I haven’t tried the bacon here, it is beef bacon, as is to be expected in a halal restaurant, and others who tried it reported it was very good.

Beyond the burgers, CB recognizes the importance of the sides, and the importance of a good french fry to pair with a burger. In their recognition of the almighty potato, they have managed to break ground on an entirely different kind of french fry. Their curvy fries, which are thick, crispy, as curvy as described, provide a crispy, salty, and spicy contrast to the burgers. On this visit, they were slightly under seasoned, which felt like eating warm chunks of boiled potato. Luckily, this isn’t always an issue, and return visits have yielded beautiful batches of these weirdo fried potatoes.

Gorilla Fries, filling and overwhelming.

check out that seasoning.

If the big curvy fries aren’t for you, they have regular fries on the menu as well, or you can opt for their Gorilla Fries, which follow the animal style formula – they’re curvy fries topped with loads of cheese, CB sauce, and grilled onions. They are absolutely packed with calories and fat, but taste great. I wouldn’t eat an order to myself unless I was having an especially gluttonous day.

They do a lot of things well here, and I’ve been back several times since my initial visit. The food is consistently good and the service is very friendly. Hani, the owner, came and talked to our group as we left, asking for suggestions and comments on the restaurant. While we might not see arcade machines taking up some of the extra space in the restaurant, I do expect to see the space evolve over time. The Hamtramck community will decide over time what California Burgerz’ place is, and I hope it remains as it is – a clean, affordable, and solid place to get a good burger with your family and friends.

Ratings:
Music Report: 50’s rock and roll, in a setting where you don’t expect 50’s rock and roll.
Burger: 4.091
Service: 4.18
Atmosphere: 4.58
Value: 4.30
Overall Rating: 4.26 <—- Our New Top Ranking!

Alexandria – “Music was really great!!” 4/5
Alex – “The water cups were the tiniest thing on planet Earth. It’s my first BC, I can’t rate it THAT high. “ 4/5
Bonnie – “We took a pic with the owner! Glad I tried the gorilla fries, but I won’t get them again unless I share with lots of people. Great burger!” – 5/5
Carl “H” – “The fries were passable. The gorilla fries were impressive looking” 4/5″
Erik – “A halal version of an American past that never existed. Patty is good, not great, but works great with the toppings on texture, ingredients, umami, and acidity from the pickles.” 4.5/5
Frank –  “I like the clean, friendly feel of the place. Tasty, decent burger.” 4/5
Jack – “Music could vary if the wait is going to be that. slow.” 4/5
Phil –  -Who are the children whose drawings adorn these walls?
-Cruisin’ Classics! Jukebox Hits! 60’s Teen Dream Rockers!
-The halal reimagining of a selectively nostalgic American ideal.
-Heavy food for teenage stomachs. Good thing it tastes good. 4/5
Summer – “Kids’ drawings on the wall were a nice added touch. Wish I had crayons. Chocolate shake was good. Tasted like Hershey’s syrup. Lacks on graphic design of logo.” 3.5/5

 

California Burgerz
12045 Conant Street
​Hamtramck, MI 48212
Mon-Sat 11am-11pm
Sun 12pm-11pm
​(313) 703-8000

Butcher’s Grille: Back to Basics

When I’d read about Butcher’s Grille in Metro Times in September, I was excited to try something different – a halal Lebanese take on an American classic, grilled simply and with expertise. We’ve seen numerous new Dearborn burger restaurants pop up that go for the crazy toppings route (like Taystee’s, which we haven’t tried yet) or the big marketing route (Brome, the more local version of shake shack), but some places forget that simplicity and skill are really all it can take to get people in the door.

That seems to be the ethos of Butcher’s Grille – take a piece of quality meat, treat it correctly, add fresh vegetables when necessary, and serve it quickly. The frills aren’t always necessary, which is easy to forget in 2017, when we are constantly bombarded by media, advertising, and our phone screens.

Butcher’s Grille is located in a small strip mall on Michigan avenue, looking very unassuming. There is a small bit of parking in the back. When you enter, the setup is simple but modern – a large meat counter – this is a meat market after all, a few tables, and a register to place your order. Everything is sparkling clean and the family clearly takes great pride in their business. Co-owner and chef Samer Saad’s father owns a meat packer and distributor in Eastern Market, which gives the market a great opportunity to show off their choicest cuts, alongside some fantastically fresh salads, hummus, and kibbeh. Besides their impressive food display, there’s not much to say about the atmosphere. It’s fine, it’s clean, but it doesn’t stand out as a special or intimate place.

The menu is not extensive. It is small, carefully curated, and will tell you exactly what this restaurant is about. Burgers, sandwiches, and grilled dinners, including a number of Lebanese choices, adorn one side of the menu, while the other side is soups, salads and sides. The menu sides are bookended by tantalizing pictures of some of their options. It’s clear that they know their burgers and want to showcase their skill with Lebanese food as well, and the menu is mixed together to highlight all of their food, instead of emphasizing one section over the other.

Many of us went with the butcher’s burger, described as “1/2 lb All-Beef patty, turkey/beef bacon, lettuce, tomato, onion rings, mayo, Sriracha sauce, your choice of cheese on Brioche bun”.  Butcher’s Grille has the regular brioche burger, which is a simple cheeseburger, and the junior cheeseburger for lighter appetites. We saw some orders being brought out to other tables as we waited, and they have a bit of a fajita effect in the small space. Served steakhouse style with a serrated knife in them, they tower on their cutting boards (which, despite being a little silly, are only an issue when your burger is too juicy). Besides the cutting boards, everything is plastic or paper – adding to the simple cafeteria feel of the market.

I’m pretty happy with this cross-section shot.

We weren’t disappointed by the quick service, and the staff made sure we had everything we needed and that everything tasted good. While the burgers look impressive, they taste impressive too.

The patties are only seasoned with salt – highlighting the beauty of the ground meat they use- and cooked on a wood-burning grill, adding an element of char that is missing from a flat top/smashed burger. If you’re anything like me, that char will give you that nostalgic taste of backyard barbecues, and give you a whiff of summer in the cold of winter. The cooks brought our burgers to their desired doneness without any problems, which, if you follow the burger club, is not the norm by any means. Their buns are brioche, fresh, sturdy and contain the burger juices (for most of us), earning a great score on our rating sheet (and up to the standards of Brome’s buns).

My only complaint was that the sriracha detracted a bit from the flavor of the patty and the other textures and flavors in the burger. Luckily, I ordered it on the side, and I was happy I did. Another potential concern was the beef/turkey bacon, as it can taste overly processed or have a strange texture. However, it’s expected in a halal restaurant, and I think butcher’s nailed the texture and crispiness of the bacon without sacrificing real flavor. Not everyone agreed, but it’s the best I’ve had so far.

Beyond the main event, the sides were great too. The onion rings didn’t have wormy insides, they were crispy and well-seasoned on the outside. The tomato kibbeh I ordered was very interesting. Kibbeh can be many things, but in many forms it is a raw spiced minced beef and wheat dish (and is available on the menu in four of its regular forms as well). With the tomato kibbeh, they take out the meat and replace it with tomatoes, adding a nice acidity and umami flavor that is not entirely unlike a hearty salsa. The texture is a bit more substantial, and the spice from the jalapenos really shines through. It was a great appetizer, although the burger was more than enough food for any of us.

The Takeaway

Butcher’s Grille and Market takes a simple approach to everything, from the seasoning of their high quality meats to the simple decor to the plastic silverware. In some cases, this makes the experience feel a little cheaper than it needs to. However, the simplicity also highlights the cleanliness of the restaurant, and the pride that they take in their market and food. One thing that caught my eye and I’d be willing to go back for is one of their steaks in the display, grilled for $9 plus the cost of the steak. With the simple seasoning, great meats, and the way they cooked my burger perfectly, I can only imagine it would be fantastic.

Butcher’s Grille does a lot of things right and a lot of things exceptionally. You won’t regret stopping here to try something new, or picking up a cut of meat to make yourself later. Butcher’s earned our second top burger score and fourth overall score, and they truly deserved it.

Ratings:

Music Report: almost inaudible, not worth commenting on.
Burger: 4.21 <—- second overall top burger!
Service: 4.64
Atmosphere: 4.19
Value: 3.63
Overall Rating: 4.129 <—- #4 in our ranking!

Alice –  4/5
Alicia – “Love the exposed brick.” 4/5
Carl – “Make my bacon pork or don’t make it at all“ 4/5
Erik – “Very impressed with quality. Steak prices look good too – market price for meat plus $9 to cook. They seem to take pride in what they do. Very clean and busy despite being 3 pm on a Sunday” 3.5/5
Rachel –  3/5
Rusty Shackleford –
Big greasy burger
Baby napkins – not enough!
I’m happy but soiled.
4/5

 

Butcher’s Grille and Market
22713 Michigan Ave.
Dearborn, MI 48124
(313) 436-0055
Sunday-Thursday: 11am – 9pm
Friday-Saturday: 11am-10pm
Butcher Shoppe: 9am – 6pm Daily

(Photos by Erik and Carl)

Applebee’s, and a Reflection of What We Are

We went to the 8 Mile Applebees last weekend. For a blog that purports to find the best burgers in town, we went to a place not locally owned, with low critical scores, and spent our hard-earned money on food we expected would not be good.

Why? Because Applebee’s means something. Especially this one. It opened just about two years ago, in 2015, and joined the first Meijer in Detroit in making a statement about where and what Detroit is. It was symbolic – major chains were willing to move to the city, to give the people there what they were asking for, and to increase access to affordable food for families. And with the hype of the combination IHOP-Applebee’s opening near downtown, the casual dining chain with over 2000 locations continues to mean something to the city of Detroit.

While Applebee’s still has means something to Detroit, over 100 of their nationwide locations are closing soon, due to lack of consumer interest and changing market forces, like I’ve discussed in my past Shake Shack entry. Millenials just aren’t interested in what Applebee’s, TGI Friday’s, and similar restaurants have to offer.  But what are they (and we) missing out on, by turning our noses up at it?

We’ve All Been There

Applebee’s is a restaurant that I probably don’t have to describe to most of middle America. Everyone’s been there (and by there I mean any one of their 2000+ locations). During their boom in the 90s they became gathering spots in the suburban United States for families looking to get out of the house and feed their families. Most of us probably have memories of eating at Applebee’s with our families and extended families, for birthday parties and informal get-togethers.

The interchangeable nature of Applebee’s restaurants is something they heavily bank on. To pull into a restaurant, know exactly what you can order and what it will look like,  no matter where you are in the country, is a convenience and a resource for many, especially those with specific tastebuds or finicky children. Some may see it as a beacon of light amongst shady looking local diners. and the bottom line, really, is that a lot of people really enjoy it. Who are we to say that’s wrong?

While we’ve been discussing a visit for burger club since they opened, we finally got ourselves together to go. And while we might not have expected much going in, we gave it a fair shot.

Deja Vu?

It looks, unsurprisingly, like an Applebee’s. Although I haven’t been in an Applebee’s in probably a decade, it is hauntingly comforting and familiar in its layout. While this Applebee’s in particular has taken a more sparse decorating strategy than franchises may have in the past, the decor they do have is focused on Detroit high schools, universities, and sports. It’s a nice touch that really does make it feel like the restaurant gives homage to its locale, even if it is a little forced.

These spaces are well designed and marketed for ultimate comfort, in theory. The tables are far enough away from each other that conversations feel personal and you’re not encroaching upon anyone else. What we found, however, was that this setup means you have to sacrifice a bit of your own space for the comfort of everyone. The booth we sat in that looked like it would fit 8 was actually meant for 6, and even with six the table was a little too high and too close to the booth (not to mention that our table was wobbly and immediately drove me nuts). It felt cramped.

There were only two waitresses when we got there, and a ton of empty tables, as several families waited to sit down. This is understandable and I appreciate the host’s willingness to explain this. It still seemed odd, as an extra waitress at that time could have been warranted with the three families waiting for tables, and the crowd starting to pick up around 3 pm.

Our server, Lakieshia, was very nice, although she was maybe a little bored with working at Applebee’s, and did a great job. Though the service seemed a bit slow, due to the lack of waitresses, she brought us extra stuff (cups of condiments, mostly) on more than one occasion, and fixed the mistakes that occurred.

Chicken Wonton Tacos – Looked good and tasted good!

The Product

Their menu includes a number of dinner value meals, which include appetizer, two entrees (from a small list) and dessert. For $25, this is not a bad deal at all, and a couple can go all out and leave the restaurant for under forty or fifty dollars. Appetizers seem to flow freely, and three of us got free appetizers for checking in with the yelp app- coupons and specials are common in newspapers as well.

They also have a regular menu, and a burger section that runs the  gamut from classic and boring to inventive and interesting. I was very impressed with the choices: the All-day Brunch burger, which may suit the gastropub crowd,  has bacon, hash browns, and a fried egg on top; The caprese mozzarella burger has grilled tomato slices and red onion along with fresh mozzarella and basil; the whisky bacon burger has smoked bacon, crispy onions, pepper jack cheese, and Fireball Whiskey infused steak sauce.

Ok, I was impressed until I read “Fireball whiskey infused steak sauce”, and then I put my expectations in check.

Enticed and tantalized by Fireball Whiskey infused steak sauce, Sean and Scott could not resist the whisky bacon burger.

I ordered the caprese mozzarella burger, hoping to get something interesting. What I found out when I ordered, though, is that their rareness system consists of two meager and meaningless choices: pink or no pink. I understand this is a dumbed down system and it is meant to make ordering easier for folks that don’t care. However, in practice it is useless – ‘pink’ vs. ‘no pink’ seemed to have no difference for anyone in the group, pinks were less pink than no pinks, and we had folks in the group adding more adjectives onto the already bad system trying to shoehorn this abysmal system into the regular rare to well done spectrum we all know. I imagine they weren’t too surprised when their “a little pink” and “as pink as possible” didn’t yield any different results.

I might venture a guess that most eaters at this point in time know the difference between a medium rare and a well done, but even those that don’t could be guided by a simple chart on the menu with what the various degrees mean. Implementing a change like this would require the cooks to be on their game and pay attention to cooking times or temperatures, but the quality of their burgers would rise dramatically – and people tend to notice a good burger.

Burger lineup, including Alice’s sadly un-topped burger.

The Reveal

You’ll hear stories about how heavily microwaves are used in chain restaurants. I cannot confirm or deny this, but I have had friends who worked in these types of kitchens, and they claim much of the food comes packaged and ready to cook in whatever way their test kitchens deemed the most consistent. When you’re at Applebee’s, you won’t expect a fresh hand-formed patty of beef from a local meat purveyor, but they will go out of their way to make it look like it is.

The same thing is true about their appetizers. They are mostly preformed (or parcooked) things with simple recipes. That’s just fine – the wings are wings and will taste good. the wonton tacos I shared with Alice were crispy and tasty, designed to look like a lot more work went into them, and the spinach dip was exactly as described. I really can’t say anything bad about the appetizers, as they were plentiful and there are so many deals to get an appetizer for free or next to free. I also have good things to say about the fries (and sweet potato fries) that came with our burgers- they were crispy, seasoned right, and more than did the job.

The burgers? Well, don’t get your hopes up. You’ll say “yeah this is a burger” and eat it and be fine with it. But you’re not going to go home and talk about it to your friends. The price was great, again, but I’ve been to many places with far higher quality burgers at the same price point (Motor City Sports Bar, House of Shamrocks, Mt. Chalet, Redcoat, etc.). As I said earlier, the doneness levels were all basically the same, with just the slightest hint of pink for most of us, and inconsistency with what the table asked for. Disappointing. The patty was bland and underseasoned. It had a good texture and crumbled appropriately but was not incredibly juicy. The buns were incredibly sad and dry. Basically, it included all the marks of a burger purveyor that doesn’t get it.

My caprese burger was ridiculous. A bad design and a bad execution. Two stacks of one inch thick red onion slices grilled, with mozzarella on top and grilled tomato in the middle of the two stacks. WAY too much onion. One stack would have been too much! If they were half as big, I could have dealt with it. I pulled one stack off and barely made it through the other. The tomato and mozzarella worked as ingredients, but the burger still ended up dry, and I asked for some mayo to make up for it. I don’t eat that many burgers, so going out of my way for a burger like this is a true disappointment.

Alice got hers delivered without any toppings. Baffling. The waitress, to her credit, fixed it pretty quickly, but I don’t know how the mix-up occurred. Alice was sitting in front of her unadorned patty while the rest of us dug in. Bonnie ate the also ridiculous quesadilla burger, which I tried, and it delivered as expected (a burger with southwest flavors between two quesadillas) but it is maybe a holdover from the late aughts’ obsession with piling too many greasy cheesy things on top of each other and calling it good food.

Good texture. Dry bun. Bland patty.

Was it Worth it?

As usual, we had a good time and it was an interesting experience. It’s clear why some people like Applebee’s and similar chain restaurants – they have cheap prices, consistency of menus, and they are a good place to share a meal with a group of people in a very unpretentious way. I’m not going to knock anyone for that. Sala texted me after we left, and said “I Just got two coffees for price of an entree and app at applebees.” That’s not a thing to shrug off.

But it really just isn’t for me. The only thing I’d come back for, by choice, would be the cheap and good appetizers and a happy hour drink. They do that well. Their immediately recognizable and welcoming atmosphere even works on me, in some ways.

But, as it stands, their meals are just not that good. Sorry, Applebees. I’d love if it was a place that had a consistently good, even great burger, and it is absolutely not beyond the scope of this giant corporation to do that. And I’m betting that people would respond to a really good burger, without too much Millenial-focused marketing which we are accustomed to, and bored of, and doesn’t work that well. Go to Applebee’s, and if you like it, I won’t hold it against you! But I might have some other, more local suggestions for you (check the sidebar).

Ratings:

Music Report: was there even music? So generic I didn’t notice.
Burger: 2.96
Service: 4.03
Atmosphere: 3.75
Value: 3
Overall Rating: 3.322

Alice –  “I may have been too generous with this rating.” 4/5
Arthur – “Appetizers were a 5/5 because they were free” 2/5
Bonnie – “I feel good about the free app. Now I know what a quesadilla burger tastes like – I didn’t hate it.” 3/5
Erik – “I’d come for the apps, they were cheap and good. The entrees suck. This wobbly table is the worst.” 2.5/5
Sala – “Very unhappy with how cramped the booths were. Loved the apps (that they were free).” 3/5
Scott – “It works for the price. They have a snapchat filter.”4/5
Sean – “It was great to share this burger club experience with my friends and to share a 2 for 20 meal with my brother-in-law. The food and experience is what you come to expect from an Applebee’s. I ordered hot wings with blue cheese, got boneless BBQ wings with ranch.” 2/5

Applebee’s
2111 W. 8 Mile Rd.
Detroit, MI 48203
(313) 586-5980
Open 11 am- 12 am Sun-Thurs
11 am – 1 am Fri-Sat

House O’ Shamrocks: Lucky you.

If you haven’t noticed from my past posts, myself and other members of the Motor City Burger Club are big fans of local dive bars. They have loads of personality, they give you a real taste of what a community is like, and they tend to hide in plain sight with great deals and food. So a suggestion by our Hazel Parker Sala for a trip to House O Shamrocks was welcome. Hazel Park is a working class town, with the Hazel Park Raceway and long stretch of John R with family owned businesses. We stopped here for burgers before at Brayz burgers, a bastion of working class food, and HoS serves the same crowd, but with beer.

While HoS doesn’t quite hit all the marks of a dive – it fits somewhere in between dive and sports bar, and it is kept pretty clean, compared to Hamtramck dives like The Painted Lady and Whiskey in the Jar –  all the other marks are there. Locals sitting and drinking, probably too long. Bartenders that know the menu back and forth and spend their time chatting with the barflies. Plenty of weird drink specials and a few craft beers mixed in. HoS is a lot like one of our favorites, Motor City Sports Bar, and the similarities comforted me.

We had a small group, which makes for a much more leisurely burger experience than we are used to – however, the service was still superlative. our bartender went way out of his way to make sure we had everything we needed, bringing us all our food, being patient with our out-of-town questions, and being overall extra nice. That sure wasn’t a dive bar attitude, and it makes a huge difference in perception of quality. While our club comes for the burgers, the burgers don’t mean anything if the service is garbage (see Miller’s for more info).

Their drink list is impressive – instead of only the bud lite and miller lite you might expect, they also have a selection of craft beers on tap and in bottles. Most of them were Michigan local at the time, and inclusion of beers from the nearby Dragonmead and Kuhnhenn breweries were a welcome sight. Kuhnhenn’s DRIPA is always something delicious to look out for, and I was happy to have one with my meal. The prices were good too – between $3-6 per pint depending on the beer.

Their menu is pretty simple – but as you can see below, the burgers are unequivocally king here. Displayed like catholic saints, the quadrumvirate of the Shamrock Burger, the Megatron Burger, the Mighty Quinn, and Ol’ Blue cover most of one side of the menu. And although the photos they chose might be questionable, they are immediately tempting – and you might not notice the regular burger options above them. Sides are available with the burgers – but there is also an extensive appetizer section if you are looking for some deep fried snacks. They include “pepper cheese cubes” on the menu, and you can get 20 of them for $5.25 with ranch, but none of us was able to figure out exactly what they were.

All of us ordered one of the giant specialty burgers listed on the menu, and I personally had the Shamrock burger, which, when executed well is an excellent thing. And while I am generally very happy while eating a burger regardless of what it is, this was mostly perfect. As you can see in the morphing cross section near the bottom, the ingredients were good – moist corned beef, just enough coleslaw (and not too runny), and great grilled onions, enveloped by swiss cheese.

There are also a couple issues, as you may be able to see. I always order my burgers medium rare, and this was not that. While it was still juicy, and with a good sear, some of the natural juices flowed out. The bun, although substantial and mostly very well liked, was in my case a little too much bun on top versus bottom. Even with my juicy burger, again, very well constructed, it didn’t soak through. Others had other issues – an errant piece of tomato cut too close to the stem and rendered basically unchewable, some topping ratios were off, and overall the burgers were a bit overcooked.

The sides were fine – serviceable, tasty, and did the job right. HoS didn’t do anything special with the sides, but they didn’t really need to. The sides, a mere dollar or two dollars added onto an approximately 10 dollar burger, make this a great price point, and for me, is at least two meals.

The burgers were good here, earning a 3.9/5 from the burger club, known to be pretty tough with ratings. This sets it at around the middle of our ratings so far. However, the nature of this bar is likely to change constantly, and different cooks will probably vary as well. I imagine that on certain days here, the burgers are perfectly cooked and topped – but I also think it is worth the gamble here to try for that perfect burger – and still get a more than above average burger on an off day. We absolutely loved the rest of the experience. The food and drinks were a good value, the service was excellent, the bar was immaculately clean, and the huge amount of TVs here would make it an excellent place to watch a game.

All of these factors added up to our new top rating – 4.179/5. Congrats, House of Shamrocks! You do good stuff and I want another of your burgers right now.

Ratings:

Music Report: “All over the place, but solid” – Alice
Burger: 3.90
Service: 4.87 
Atmosphere: 4.325
Value: 3.94
Overall Rating: 4.179 <—- new top ranking!

Alice –  “Great toppings, bun held up well. Nicer bar than you’d expect from the exterior.” 4.5/5
Bonnie – “Loved the staff, very nice! Good bar food.” 5/5
Erik – “Authentic experience with great service. I’m sure quality varies a lot but that is the charm. The beer list focuses on MI and local beers, showing interest and pride in the community.” 3.5/5
Ian – “The toppings made up for the mediocrity of the meat (although the fried egg got lost in the sauce). It more or less hits the spot.” 3.75/5
Lindsay –  “Solid bar burger. I really liked the garlic cheddar spread, but could have used more blue cheese. The tomato was cut too close to the stem, and I didn’t eat it. The burger had a great sear on it!“ 4/5

House of Shamrocks 
23420 John R Rd, Hazel Park, MI 48030
(248) 543-8388

Shake Shack: Shaking up the Status Quo

It’s no surprise that millenials are killing off the 90’s style casual chains like Applebee’s and Buffalo Wild Wings. While I’ll fondly remember going to Ruby Tuesday’s after a day of consumerism with my mom at the mall, those days are over. Malls are dying, online shopping is king, and millenials have less money and more things to do. Of course, we also know more about our food and care about where it comes from, and many restaurants take advantage of that. We’ve seen the ascension to fame of fast-casual restaurants like Chipotle and Panera, which offer fresh and high quality foods quickly while advertising their ethical responsibility. As you might imagine, there was room for a burger restaurant in this vein, and Shake Shack is it.

Shake Shack started 15 years ago in Manhattan, catering to the New York elite and their quickly-changing tastes in Madison Square Park. Their fare quickly became legendary – people lined up down the street (and continue to do so) for their quick, filling, and tasty fare.  Shake Shack is at the top of the new normal for restaurants right now: they serve good food fast, have giant open layouts, and tout a varied and heavily caloric menu of American favorites. Much like Brome, which we recently reviewed, Shake Shack does this with lots of branded materials, socially-conscious practices and marketing, tons of social media hype, and old fashioned word of mouth.

Shake Shack is filling the same need in downtown Detroit – located right on Campus Martius in the center of downtown – for fast and good food. Major employers have moved back in and hungry employees with very little time want good things to eat. While there are other great choices like Checker Bar and Grand Trunk, which serve as slower casual lunch spots, Shake Shack is the champion of the quick lunch – even offering the option of ordering through their app and picking up without standing in line, which even in Detroit can stretch down the street.

Step into Shake Shack and everything feels extremely curated. They’ve changed a lot from their food cart days, with efficiency experts and engineers poring over data to make it the most efficient and Millenial-Approved™ as possible. Shake Shacks were designed for efficiency, starting with the revolving doors on the outside of the building and ending with their ordering system. You’ll see the huge line in front of you when you enter, but the line moves quickly. You’ll notice that the dining area is almost full, but with the speed that orders come out, there will probably be a spot for you when you get your food.

While I won’t go into the details of how the Shack purports to be sustainable and environmentally conscious (you can look at their own page for that), they do have a number of charity partners, support sustainable agriculture and livestock, and use Pat Lafrieda (and other butchers) for their meat, which is freshly ground, and has no hormones or antibiotics. Shake Shack does not claim to use grass-fed, like Brome does, but they take other similar steps to ensure quality meat – showing that they care about their product.

For the official MCBC visit, we came on a Saturday afternoon and were met with a long line, although not quite out the door. The trip was planned last minute, so we had a smaller group than usual. This turned out to be helpful, as Shake Shack was busy, and almost spilling out the revolving door. If we were in a hurry, we could have used their online app to order ahead of time and just picked up our food. Stare at their wall-sized menu, order your food, get a buzzer. After ordering you can pick up your condiments, including Louisiana hot sauce (which is an interesting but good choice), and hellman’s mayo packets, which are much better than most generic mayo packets, as we’ve learned in the past. After you’ve stocked up, you can stand for a minute and ponder why anybody would buy a Shake Shack onesie. When we ate there, we probably waited five minutes for our food to be ready after waiting in the line for the register for five minutes. You’ll be in and out fast. If you’re working at Quicken on a 60-80 hour per week schedule and have little time for lunch, this may be a godsend.

Shake Shack offers their own beer, brewed by Brooklyn Brewery, and given the boring name “Shackmeister Ale”. Brooklyn is known for making consistently good beers, so this was a smart collaboration for the New York-based company for collaboration. Unfortunately, the beer is very bland. It’s a lighter beer that is easy to drink, pairs with most things because it doesn’t have any discernable flavor, and is not something to celebrate. For a brewery that makes Sorachi Ace, which is an incredibly nuanced and funky beer that is among my favorites, they could absolutely have done something more bold and interesting as a signature for Shake Shack. Luckily, they have plenty of beverage offerings: red or white wine made by Frog’s Leap in Napa Valley for Shake Shack, lemonades and sodas, and of course, shakes.

I got the smoke shack (topped with bacon, cherry peppers, and shack sauce) and split it with Alice, who wanted to try the chick’n shack (fried chicken breast with tomato, lettuce, and buttermilk herb mayo). I’m not sure that I have to tell midwesterners this, but mayo with buttermilk and herbs is just ranch dressing – so their menu is trying to pull some weird psychological tricks with this listing. Frank managed to order an extra burger by mistake somehow, and Alex was able to get a gluten-free bun with her burger. The menu has a portabello burger as an option for any vegetarians or vegans, although we didn’t bring any of them with us this time.

We were too hungry to take cross-section pictures.

These burgers are good. They do a smashed burger, which is similar to what you might get at Five Guys. Smashed burgers take a small amount of meat, physically smash them on a very hot griddle and cook them quickly.The bigger surface area means more crispy brown bits and maximal maillard reaction on the patty while the short cooking time prevents the meat from drying out. If you want to try this at home, I am a huge fan of J. Kenji Lopez-Alt’s version, where he also explains all of the science behind it. This is almost the only kind of burger I make at home now, unless I want to pull out the grill, and its very easy and fast to do.

A smashed burger is very different than a pub burger, which has a much bigger patty size and more control over doneness ratio and uses no smashing in the process of cooking. Smashed burgers Shake Shack cooks their burgers to at least medium, much like Brome does, but it makes more sense due to the patty size. Smashed burgers are unlikely to be cooked to a rare or medium rare level – because they cook too quickly to stay there. Shake Shack is not shy about toppings, but use small amounts of good things to complement the patty instead of overwhelming it. My smoke shack burger with cherry peppers, shack sauce and bacon was a good balance of smoky, sweet, creamy and acidic. The cherry peppers they use have a kick to them, but they won’t clear your sinuses, either.

While not included in the ratings, the Chick’n Shack sandwich was well-executed, with a juicy and salty chicken breast fried and on a small bun. The pickles provide a good acidity, and saltiness ties the whole thing together. Great textural contrast with the crispy breading, creamy ranch, and juicy chicken are a powerful thing.

That is a lot of cheese sauce.

Alice and I split an order of cheese fries. If you didn’t know, Shake Shack only sells crinkle-cut fries. I know what you’re thinking, and I agree, most crinkle-cut fries are terrible. Fortunately, they managed to do a reasonable job of it, though, as they were salted well, still crispy on the outside, and not a total abomination like most crinkle-cut fries. It’s still an odd choice. The cheese sauce is incredibly savoury, but also incredibly dense. Since our fries got a ton of cheese on top, there was no way we could finish them. It also congeals in a strange way over time where is stays slightly viscous but turns into a blob anyway, and really doesn’t make the fries more appealing. A side of cheese sauce would have been preferable, and we could have enjoyed the rest of the fries.

Of course, Shake Shack wouldn’t have its name without shakes and concretes, made with custard. They are small and incredibly rich, though they are pretty expensive. Carl was unhappy with the cost of his tiny shake, understandably,  though it tasted good. I would be remiss to not mention that their “Motor City Mix” concrete uses Bon Bon Bon dark chocolate and Rocky’s peanuts, which is a spectacular combination. If you’re not aware of the magic that Alex Clark and her crew do at Bon Bon Bon, head downtown or to their Hamtramck headquarters immediately and try a Hot Mess.

We concluded our visit with a delicious coffee from the Roasting Plant across the lobby of the First National Building, a long walk down the beautiful Detroit riverfront, and a stop at Grand Trunk for some great beer and mediocre service. The location is fantastic – and tourists to the city as well as locals will enjoy Shake Shack’s proximity to bars, workplaces, and the city’s arenas.

This is a very cool painting of the city. There’s even a little Kowalski sausage in Hamtramck!

As you can see, there are a lot of positive things that myself and others like about Shake Shack. They have quality food at good prices and you don’t have to sit down for two hours to eat it. They care about their sourcing and appeal to the ethical nature of millennials.  I am fine with places like SS overcoming older fast food and casual dining business models (which also have their place in the market), but underneath it all, there is no soul to their service. That little food cart in Manhattan probably had a tremendous amount of soul, but now they are still a giant chain with 134 locations listed on the New York Stock Exchange, designed to make a profit.

So I might still eat there instead of McDonald’s or Wendy’s, I’ll appreciate the hell out of the employees working there and definitely appreciate the food too (that chicken sandwich is so good). But I’m much happier giving my money to local business owners, working for years and building personal relationships with the people walking through their doors, rather than just be seen as a marketing demographic. In Detroit, I’m lucky enough to be able to do that for less money and better quality food. And if you’re part of my marketing demographic, that may be something you care about too.

Incredulous? Or just hungry?

Ratings

Music Report: Bad, boring, good volume.
Burger: 4.11 
Service: 3.971
Atmosphere: 4.025
Value: 3.54
Overall Rating: 3.914 

Alice –  “Chicken was well done, the ranch was good. Cheese on the fries was tasty, but would have preferred it on the side.”4/5
Alex – “Gluten Free Bun :)” 4.5/5
Carl – “It was pretty good, cheese fries were good. Greasy and heavy. I am full. Pretty expensive for what you get, the shake was too much for a small amount.“ 3/5
Erik – “Non-offensive setting, crowd, etc. But the lack of uniqueness here is a minus. The chicken sandwich with ranch is killer!” 4/5
Frank – “Tasty, greasy overpriced burger. Simple and satisfying.”4/5

Shake Shack 
660 Woodward Ave. Detroit, MI 48226
313-672-0501