Burgers in the time of Corona

Everyone’s living through it right now. We’re cooped up inside, a little worried all the time or glued to the news. The new statistics are worrying, and it can be hard to find a little glimmer of hope when all you do is stay inside.  But we can’t be fine with that, we have to find ways to overcome the inherent bore that is the inside.  So MCBC took it upon ourselves to do something interesting.

Alice had the great idea – we’ve all got stocks of groceries right now, and a boatload of creativity – why not have a party where we make some of our own creations?

So we laid out some ground rules for our friends:
1) Everything is considered a patty this time. Make what you want!
2) Share a picture of your creation with us.
3) Join in on our video conference call so we can pretend we’re eating together!

Easy. Nobody was going anywhere so we knew we’d have some immediate buy-in. And we knew our friends were creative and talented cooks, but we didn’t expect the level of mastery they gave us!

Here’s some of the pantry patty creations that they came up with:

Carl and Alex: One regular cheeseburger and one feta cheese stuffed burger, on store bought brioche buns.

Carl: “I will say this about my cook-from-home burger experience. I used too much salt in the patty seasoning. I started my grill coals a little too soon because my grill temp was a little too low on the hot side. I think I had the patties at the right temp before moving them from indirect to over coals but then left them there for too long.

I will admit, getting burgers to the proper temperature on a charcoal grill is challenging, and I learned from the experience. Honestly the patties were so thick that it was almost a meatloaf situation. The long rest after removing them from the grill most likely took the burgers from medium/medium-well to firmly medium-well/well-done. I have gained a new appreciation for burger cooks who can properly serve a burger to a specified doneness.

Otherwise, the burger was great. To my own liking, you might say.My rating reflects the mistakes made by the chef in seasoning and doneness. Overall, 4/5.”

“Alex: I thought it was really good even though I was hangry and angry. Fries were top notch as well! don’t beat yourself up, Carl. ❤️🍔 “

Scott and Michelle:
Grilled chicken marinated in home made Alabama white BBQ sauce on a toasted bun with lettuce and tomato. On the side, grilled broccoli with lemon and olive oil.

Michelle: “Doneness was great. It was well done, which was good because it was chicken. The thin chicken thighs cooked quickly over the hot coals. Scott grilled the buns, they were good. Good job on flavors, Scott.

Our meal was mostly free freezer food,  plus some reasonably priced produce. I requested to work in the garden while the meal was being prepared. The request was granted. 

Our side was frozen broccoli grilled in a foil pack. Not bad.

The place looks nice to me, and it was nice to see friends via video chat. All restaurants would be better with Rosie (ed. note: Rosie is a very good dog.).” 5/5

Scott: “Michelle really stepped it up by getting the fresh and brightly colored produce from the Ferndale Project produce stand. The chicken had a nice char on it from the addition of the oil and sugar in the sauce. The organic buns were lightly coated in ghee, they turned out lightly crispy with a good flavor, but not overpowering.

The broccoli was organic and from Michigan Farm to Freezer, so the quality was pretty good, but it was frozen broccoli grilled in a foil pack. It was a little over done, which is typical of frozen veggies cooked this way. The addition of lemon juice brightened it up and saved it from a 2 rating.

It was not too crowded on a Sunday afternoon, good music selection by the other guests on the jukebox, everyone seemed really cool and unpretentious.

Some tips for other restaurants that want to achieve these high ratings: allow dogs, have a casual/relaxed atmosphere, let people get their own beer from the fridge, play good music, use fresh ingredients, toast your buns, have a patio/outdoor space to hang out on and a nice indoor space to eat in.” 5/5

Jeff and Rachel:
Bacon cheeseburger
Made at home in our own pan
I’m ready to nap

We used some organic ground beef from Costco, thick cut bacon, sharp cheddar, lettuce from our window, button mushrooms, shallots, and garlic. The buns were rolls delivered to us by a mystery baker from the internet.

I sauteed the mushrooms, shallots and garlic together and scooped it on the burger; that worked well for piling a bunch on. The bacon was oven cooked and came out pretty well. The lettuce was tasty but a little soft and delicate for a heavily topped burger.

I went pretty light on salt for the patties but there was plenty in the toppings to make up for it. The rolls were tasty. My only complaint is that they were a bit firm for bun duty. I put some mayo on mine and Rachel used a mayo/sriracha/garlic sauce she made for the fries.

I cooked my patty medium rare, Rachel’s medium well (as she is currently required to eat). Mine was good but the firm rolls kind of squished it out as I bit, which was messy and a bit unpleasant. Even so I’m not sure I would have cooked it differently.

For our side dish Rachel made sweet potato fries with the aforementioned sauce. She pressed the fries in a towel, then coated them in oil, followed by corn starch. They crisped nicely in the convection oven. Once they were done she dusted them with sea salt that had been powdered in a blender.

Wow I wrote a bunch
That’s not usual for me
I hope you like it

Phil: All beef kafta burger with cucumber-mint labne sauce with Pickled turnips and topped with za’atar spice.

The recipe calls for one medium onion, pulverized and drained, to mix with a pound of ground beef. I oblige. The fumes of the onion mash are searing, but I use my bare hands to press it into the strainer, juicing it like a cider. Milky serum dribbles over my thumb and between my fingers as I feel the cold wet communion with this timeless and essential vegetable. I have created something of this onion that I have never created before. Reducing it to a sloppy paste might seem like a complete act of dominance, but the onion is not taken so easily. Working with an onion is inherently a two-way relationship. It fights back. Expect to be affected.

But now, after such an intimate experience in the strainer, my eyes, the stinging—it suddenly feels necessary. There are things an onion can do to a dish that nothing else can. The onion accepts no imitation and asserts itself at the first incision. Sure, there are tips and tricks to reduce the onion tears, but this bulb was shredded into oblivion by a horrifically violent and unnaturally whirling apparatus. When the lid came off, the airborne swarm of oxidized sulfenic acid came billowing up in retaliation. I had stepped back only a moment before reentering it without a conscious thought. It just seemed my duty. I widened my eyes to thin the tears across the surface, but this only served to leave them more exposed. So I squinted and pressed the water out the sides and onto my cheeks as I slid the mass into the strainer over the sink. Were these drops the involuntary reflex of my lachrymal glands, or were these real tears of masochistic joy, a solemn rejoice at being so physically affected by another body after 41 days in near complete isolation?

Puzzling this and the sensation of the cold flesh between my palm and the steel mesh, I return the pulp to the blender with the meat and host of other spices. Moments later, the air that was once blindingly on fire is now sweet and perfumed with the lively mix of parsley, garlic, coriander, nutmeg, paprika, clove, among others. The patties have trouble staying together (as kafta is not built for such size, and usually includes a skewer for stability), and with my temperature too low at first they cook clear through. Still, the smell is invitation enough. Crowned with labne, cucumber, mint and pickled turnips aside from the classic lettuce and tomato, it makes a formidable burger.

I bite. Everything I smell holds true, and the first moment is a stage dance of brightly plumed costumes across my tongue. But then, something washes over. Something acrid and overbearing. It washes through my mouth and up into my sinuses like a Listerine. The onion. Vengeance from beyond the grave. There’s too much! It was too big! Goddamnit! Goddamn this fucking onion. Goddamnit all to Hell.

4 out of 5.

Sean L.: For the Pantry Patty Party I present: this grilled turkey burger. Placed on a toasted Target brand bun, with muenster cheese skirt, sliced cherry tomatoes and bread and butter spears. Garnished with leftover kroger premade salad greens, thousand island on the base and mayonnaise on top bun.

This is the first burger I’ve made at home and it turned out much better than I expected!

If I were to do something different I would have found better/fresher ingredients, this patty came from the pantry.

Since quarantining, I’ve been craving steak, and a cookies and cream milkshake. This was not that.

6/5 (they’re all good burgers Brent)

Sean C.: Quinoa and mushroom patty with labne, za’atar, and chive sauce, spicy mustard, tomato, provolone, red onion and avocado. Sides of fries and raw carrots. Dessert of tajin peach pie. Ginger lemonade.

I got the recipe from the Epicurious app, hoping to find a meat-free recipe that was straightforward and would hold together, as I’ve not had much success homemade veggie patties. I had not made it before, and it did not turn out well. The size patty the recipe called for would have been massive, so I made smaller patties, compressed them as tightly as I could, and then flattened them, and could tell before cooking they wouldn’t hold together. The outside of the patties crisped and the inside only heated up, so they fell apart. I used more than the recommended amount of sweet potato as a binder, but that didn’t help. I may try again, because I don’t know if it was my failure or the recipe’s. The combination of quinoa, mushrooms, and sweet potato had a lot of promise, so I’d like to get these to work. The bun was a nice white local bun from chef’s best. Lightly toasted and inoffensive. Toppings were obviously bought fresh this morning.

Next time I would try a lower heat in the pan, and not multitask while they are cooking. I would also use breadcrumbs that are more coarse, because I think the fine grained crumbs I had on hand absorbed moisture and turned into mush and didn’t contribute much. The leftovers were also really good with scrambled eggs, so next time I would also fry up smaller chunks à la breakfast sausage.

The fries were slightly burned but the pie compensated.  I would really like some ice cream with it. I’ve been eating better during the pandemic than before, but I don’t have a freezer and the weather hasn’t consistently warmed.

For the appearance, They’re clearly trying to improve the place here, but I wish they would hurry up and finish. The ambiance was great though.  it’s like the music was from my own playlist and decorated with me in mind. The crowd? Perfection.

Burgers and COVID,
We’re all in this together.
Sum’s greater than parts.

3.5/5

Lindsay and Ian:
Turkey burgers with lots of green onions and duck fat in the patty, seasoned with szechuan pepper. Fancy horseradish mustard and homemade mayo-based Russian dressing, lettuce-tomato-onions on toasted brioche. Duck fat oven fries and salad. Meijer bakery buns were top-notch.

Erik and Alice: 

Quarter pound medium Rare bison patty topped with deeply caramelized onions, kale marinated with balsamic vinegar and rubbed with olive oil, and Castello danish blue cheese on homemade milk bread buns with a side of crispy home fries cooked in pork fat.

Erik: “The doneness was perfect and probably the best I could ask for with bison meat, which gets dry if it’s overcooked. It was incredibly juicy, and the onions added some sweetness. The acidity in the kale and the funkiness of the blue cheese all contributed tons of flavor.

If I made these again, i’d go a little easier on the blue cheese because it is delicious but strong, and the subtleties of the bison are easy to cover up. We made these burgers again the next night with leftover bison, and used goat cheese, which was a little milder and worked well.

The home fries we made were some of the best I’ve had in ages. They kind of remind me of Golden Harvest’s (in Lansing) but done with less skill. Sliced small, par-boiled, drained, tossed in oil and spices, then pan fried until crispy.” 5/5

Alice: “I wouldn’t change anything about the burger except the buns! The toppings we used were perfect and the patty was well-seasoned and cooked. The only part of the burger that I’d made before was the caramelized onions.

The buns had some issues rising, but they held up and it actually was nice that they were so thin, since the bison patty was so thick. To fix the bun issue, we could use a different method to keep the salt further from the yeast and pay closer attention to our rise times since this batch was probably over-proved.

The home fries we made were pretty good, but they may have soaked up a little too much oil since the heat was too low when they first started cooking. The seasoning was really good though, I don’t even remember what spices we used now. Probably pepper, Penzey’s seasoning salt, garlic powder, onion powder, thyme, and oregano. ” 5/5

The Ratings:
Turns out we rate ourselves pretty highly. I had folks fill out rating forms, and for those that did, the value and topping quality ratings were off the charts. There was some iffiness on ratios and doneness – which can be fixed with practice.

Our server ratings ended up being about how much we liked ourselves (seems that most of us are doing good there) and our speed was not as great as it could have been, but we’ve got plenty of time to spare right now.

Expecting our kitchens to be as clean as a professional one, though? No way.

Burger: 4.252
Service: 4.722
Atmosphere: 4.396
Value: 4.957
Overall Rating: 4.534 (If this was going on our rankings, we’d win)

Takeaways: 
1) Make sure to stay close with your friends and do bizarre things together, even if its via video chat right now! It goes a long way to combating loneliness.

2) We all have our own ways of cooking and eating, and nobody is right or wrong for their preferences. Everyone’s burgers looked wonderful and I was very happy with how our bison burgers turned out!

3) Cooking is a great way to be creative. Think of your favorite thing to eat. Now what would make that even better or more interesting. You can make that – even if its a ton of work!