Brayz Hamburgers: An examination of the Slider -OR- Brayzboozled: The Hazel Park Bait & Switch

What is a slider?

To the newcomer to Detroit, the vegetarian, or the uninformed, it’s a good question, and one with a lengthy history. This question is crucial to understanding our trip to Brayz, this week’s Burger Club pick. There is some contention about what a slider is, and looking to the past can give us a better way to define it. And though there’s no way I can cover everything, I can give you some basics here.

You may be familiar with White Castle, which first opened in 1921 in Wichita, Kansas. At this point in time, the public was afraid of ground beef, and for good reason. In 1906, Upton Sinclair published “The Jungle”, which detailed the terrible and disgusting conditions that took place inside slaughterhouses and meat-packing plants. The Jungle, along with other journalistic efforts,  prompted Roosevelt to sign the Food and Drug Act, create the FDA, and make conditions quite a bit safer and more sanitary.

The public, however, didn’t immediately accept that things had changed. With so much skepticism, any change had to be immediately visible – proof of cleanliness within a restaurant was a good start. White Castle did this very well – sparkling white buildings, white walls, and visibly clean kitchens that customers could see made it much more comfortable to order some ground beef. That beef was sold inside ‘slyders’, which are small, thin hamburger patties, grilled over onions, served with pickle slices on top on steamed buns. You wouldn’t buy just one – you’d need a whole bag of burgers to get a full meal.  White Castle perfected this simple creation, and the restaurant popped up all around the country, eventually becoming treasured by many Detroiters.

White Castle quickly took off, and other burger places followed their formula. White Towers, Motz restaurants, and a few other standalone burger places popped up throughout Detroit. They all carried the same hallmarks that White Castle did – sparkling white buildings, easy takeout, bags of burgers for cheap, and clean diner-style interiors. For years, they flourished.

Despite their early popularity, these burger dynasties didn’t all last. When the White Towers started to close, they changed names and ownership, but the traditions remained. You can still see many of these buildings in operation, and many of them continue to house slider restaurants. One example is Campau Tower, a favorite of Hamtramck locals.

Brayz is another one of those restaurants following in the White  Castle/Tower tradition. I’ve driven by it many times, noticed the porcelain-white walls and takeout area, marveled at the giant donkey on the roof, and ultimately decided that I would come back later. I do love sliders (don’t you?) – and we hadn’t met up in Hazel Park at all yet.

The Next Ferndale?

Hazel Park might be in the midst of a rebirth.  With Mabel Gray recently opening and Cellarmen’s taking their mead-making expertise from Ferndale, there are some great changes happening in Hazel Park. The city is poised to make a comeback, and Hazel Park has been touted by The Detroit News as Metro Detroit’s next hot neighborhood. 

“John R is the next Nine Mile,” claimed Sala, Hazel Park almost-resident, as she put in her fifth offer for a house in Hazel Park. “I can’t wait for this city to be full of shops and restaurants.” 

Bordered by Royal Oak, Ferndale, Detroit, Madison Heights, and Warren, One would reasonably suspect that Hazel Park contains aspects of all of these cities. The popular dining and shopping scenes making the media are indeed seeping in slowly. But at its heart,  Hazel Park has a sturdy working class backbone. This notion is reinforced by asking residents about their favorite places to eat and drink within the city. You’ll hear Mabel Gray and Cellarmen’s on the list, of course. However, most locals will tell you about the incredible Loui’s Pizza, their favorite sports or dive bar (like House of Shamrocks or Eddie’s), or their favorite place for cheap burgers, like today’s subject – Brayz . These local favorites all have something in common- they represent the blue collar culture that continues to pervade Hazel Park.

As it stands, Hazel Park is both its potential and its past, and may have trouble finding its identity as a destination within Metro Detroit. But right now, amidst the confusion, Hazel Park represents a sparkling opportunity for a collusion between the new and the old. The Motor City Burger Club found a perfect way to skim between the two: Picking up burgers from the working class temple of Brayz Hamburgers, and devouring them in the newly opened Cellarmen’s Meadery. This also turned out to be our biggest club meeting yet – with sixteen members showing up to eat and drink.

MCBC waits in the sun.

Yup, that’s a slider.

With the basics covered above, we have the formula for a Detroit slider restaurant: Lots of white and stainless steel on the interior and exterior, a separate takeout entrance to shield you from the elements while you wait, some stools next to a diner style bar, cash only, and pretty similar (and small) menus. But what about the slider itself?

The White Castle formula is where the slider started – and where the basic elements come from. Some people believe that any small sandwich is a slider – you’ll see chicken, pork, fish, and vegetarian “sliders” on many menus throughout the last five years.  Green Dot Stables is guilty of pushing this trend (and that’s not to say I don’t like Green Dot). But, you know what? they’re wrong.

Of course, size is a factor. But equally important is the grilled onion, the mustard, and the pickles, and arguably the old and seasoned flat top grill. One could reasonably say that Green Dot really only has one slider on their menu – the “cheeseburger”, served with onions and pickles. I wouldn’t go to a Detroit slider place and expect to get mayonnaise, tomatoes, or lettuce on my burgers, and I’m totally okay with that.  If I want a pub burger, I know where to go. When I want a slider? Well, I’m going to have to be more picky.

Burgers at the end of the tunnel.

Brayz’ burgers, without question, fit within the definition of slider. While Brayz grills their sliders in the standard way – cooking one side of the patty with a bit of a smash on a flattop, then cooking the other side on top of a small pile of grilled onions, they don’t go the Telway route of covering the burgers/buns with towels to steam. It should also be noted that Brayz never uses the term “slider” on their menu. They sell “Hamburgers” and “Cheeseburgers”. But these are small, thin patties, grilled over onions, served on small buns with pickles and optional ketchup and mustard. Sounds like a slider to me.

The rest of the menu helps to set Brayz apart from their competitors. They have some interesting shakes on their menu (pineapple, cherry, and banana; beyond the regular chocolate, strawberry, and vanilla) along with their unique “Belly Buster” burgers. The Belly Busters include 1000 island dressing, to add a sweetness and tanginess to the regular burgers.

That’s not really impressive to me; it might be to you. The shakes, however, DO interest me. Unfortunately, Their machine was broken when MCBC went to visit. If they’re worth it? I may never know.

What we found:

Because there is no steaming involved, those top buns were pretty dry. Of course, slider patties are small – and have very little moisture to lose already. Most of it goes to the flattop and the hood vent, and the small amount that remains is within the patties themselves. That leaves a negligible amount to moisten the bun.

Compounding that problem, Lindsay, Ian and Bonnie had big issues with the large size of the buns compared to the smaller patties, leaving them chewing on dry pieces of bread after all the goods were gone. They are too dry, and whatever small amount of moisture was in those patties was simply not enough for the burgers. Sala described the patties as “wafer-like”, while Jeff described his buns as “crusty”. Those are two terms I don’t want to hear to describe any kind of burger. Rough.

Many MCBC folks had issues with the cooking and the burger quality.  Notice the variance in textures and doneness of these Brayz burgers.

While Bonnie found that her Belly Buster presented more toppings to balance out the dryness, and Ian enjoyed his patty melt better than the sliders, the fundamental dryness problem remained. All burgers were all served on the same size buns- a smaller bun for smaller burgers would make sense, but this isn’t the case. The one-size-fits-all approach ultimately hurts Brayz’ credibility and burger enjoyment, and seemed to be the cause of a lot of unhappiness with our food.

The sides didn’t fare so well either – they were all rated pretty mediocre. Onion rings were more enjoyed than the French fries, but were pretty much what you’d expect. They weren’t wormy, they had a satisfying salty and crunchy exterior, they hit all the check marks of onion rings. I didn’t even save any notes on the fries – they were just fries. In retrospect, it’s actually pretty remarkable how unremarkable they were.

There is some opportunity here to try other menu items, which were pretty highly regarded by our members, and the breakfast options are admittedly a little enticing. But based on this visit, it seems like we found a slider place in which the sliders were the least enjoyed thing on the menu.

When you see those white walls and chrome counters, and smell the onions on that flat top grill, you expect a fine slider. Instead, we got some other pretty good burgers, some poor sliders, and some mediocre sides.  But was our mindset affected in other ways?

Working Class Burgers, Upper Class Brews

We ate all of our takeout orders at Cellarmen’s in Hazel Park, just a short drive away.  They have a huge space to drink, talk, eat, and enjoy. Odd and sexual art adorns the walls, small amounts of natural light flow in through high windows, and although it kind of looks like an old VFW hall in size and layout, it has a cohesive theme. We fit all of our members around one huge wooden table – and though the folks at one end couldn’t talk with the other end, it was nice to share a meal together.

Cellarmen’s only sells their own drinks. Luckily, that includes meads, beers, and ciders, all ranging from sweet to dry – so everyone can find something they like. The super friendly guys that started Cellarmen’s started out at B. Nektar, just a couple miles away, which has gained accolades across the country. They have tough competition with Schramm’s in Ferndale as well – where Ken Schramm, who is considered to be a top meadmaker in the US, sells his award winning meads. Fortunately, Cellarmen’s have stepped up to the challenge and deliver some excellent beverages.

Giant tables, great drinks.

On previous visits, I was able to talk to one of the meadmakers who described their dedication to their craft – using all fresh ingredients and no extracts whatsoever. This means hand processing tons and tons of berries, ginger, and other spices and fruits for their drinks. The results come through in the exceptionally smooth and fresh-tasting drinks such as the Hungry Girl mead (with strawberry and white pepper), the Moscow Miel (ginger and lime mead that tastes like your favorite cocktail) and the Saigon Sin cider (with Saigon cinnamon and vanilla bean).

We loved the space and the drinks, but we found that maybe that working class vibe didn’t work so well in this space. Taking the slider out of the diner environment may have been a mistake – We didn’t get the full Detroit slider experience.

The diner tables, chrome, white surfaces, and bright outside lights of a slider restaurant all combine into an inherently comfortable and nostalgic experience. That comfortability allows for more variation in food quality, and perhaps a lower expectation of the food that is being eaten. You don’t expect a whole lot from the food, but you expect to be full of salt, fat, and carbs. That’s exactly what we got from Brayz.

We became shadows of ourselves – much as our sliders were shadows of their possibilities.

In our dark hall with viking-size tables, we had different expectations. The atmosphere (and drinks) would have paired better with some light appetizers, salads, maybe some grilled salmon. Nobody would have rejected a roasted turkey sandwich with arugula and artisanal bread in that big mead hall. What we brought in, however, was a far cry from a masterfully crafted sandwich.

I’m giving Brayz the benefit of the doubt here. Maybe we were judging them a bit too harshly in our upscale environment. Either way, it seems that the staples of the past and the indulgences of the present just might not line up as well as we hope for – Old Hazel Park and New Hazel Park will need some time to figure out their relationship, much like our burgers and our mead mixed in our stomachs.

In Summary:

I don’t go out to eat burgers that much any more, so when I do I try to make it count. And when it comes down to it, there are better sliders out there. Brayz will satisfy a slider craving, even if you see it as a small hamburger rather than a slider (but if you do, you’re wrong). It’ll fill you up for a good price. You won’t feel bad about going there. But with Telway’s Madison Heights restaurant a mere 9 minutes away, you may just want to go there for their sliders, for the double-double coffee, for the steamed buns, and for their weird regulars.

I will definitely be back to Cellarmen’s. There wasn’t a complaint among us about the location, staff, drinks, or ambiance.

It’s not always possible to look to the future while appreciating the past, and this was one of those occasions. But what I took out of it? An appreciation for the finer things in life, including friends, good drinks, a sunny winter day, and an understanding of which facets of nostalgia are actually worth a damn. That’s worth even more.

Ratings:

Burger: 2.95
Service: 3.81
Atmosphere: 3.34
Value: 3.61
Overall Rating: 3.367

Alex – 3/5
Alice – 3.7/5
Alicia – 4/5
Bonnie – “My first burger was tasty. I was hungry. I enjoyed the Billy Bob with 1000 Island and a double patty, better bun to bread ratio. Not a fan of the top bun. “ 3/5
Brett – “I would eat it again in a pinch, but it was not particularly outstanding. “ 3/5
Carl – 3.65/5
David – 3/5
Erik – “The breakfast sandwiches and shakes might be good. Two sliders was enough, three was too much.” 3/5

Frank – 2.9/5
Ian – 3.8/5
Jack – 3.9/5
Jeff – “Onion rings were great
Buns were a little crusty
I like the burger.

Onions steamed nicely
I wish they were cut smaller
Long bits pull from bun.”4/5
Joe – 3.3/5
Lindsay – “Met expectations. The only problem was that  the bun was too big for the size of the patty. The onions, pickles and condiments were solid. “3.5/5
Rachel – “The onions were bitter – I wish they were cooked longer/caramelized.” 3/5
Sala – “Brayz did not alter the course of my life.” 3.6/5

Brayz Hamburgers
22941 Dequindre Rd, Hazel Park, MI 48030
(248) 542-8878

Cellarmen’s
24310 John R Rd
Hazel Park, MI 48030
(586) 413-4206

Photos by Erik and David