The Bronx Bar

While the first wave of the freezing winter hits us, I’d like to reflect on the mild, perfect summer we just left. The rainy autumn that lasted for about two weeks in between was not a proper send-off, and we’re left confused about where the time went and if it is really 15 degrees outside before thanksgiving (it is). During these seemingly-fabled times, MCBC got a big group together and headed to midtown – meeting amongst the Wayne State buildings, we walked over to the famed darkly-lit Bronx Bar. This bar has a history in serving good food and good beer to lots of students, getting packed during Dally in the Alley, and being a refuge from the family-oriented activities of Noel Night. We didn’t care about any of that, but used their positive reputation to ask the same question we always do: “How are the burgers?”

Situated on Second street and Prentis, across from the newly-remodeled Marcus Market, a neighborhood liquor store and taco stand (Alley Taco is set up in the back – I recommend it, but that’s a different blog), Bronx stands out – because there’s always people there, under that deco-style neon sign. They crowd on the tiny side patio, smoking cigarettes, pack the bar and dim booths with their beer and pub food, and spend long periods of time navigating the two jukeboxes, side by side, both loaded with great music. Their decor represents the best of your parents’ basement bar – metal and vinyl stools, used dark wood benches, an old arcade machine, some eclectic signage, and a well-designed wooden bar that covers the wall and wraps around the corner to the kitchen. It all goes towards helping you feel a little more at home.

MCBC was there on a Saturday afternoon, before the crowd. They had a build your own bloody mary setup near the pool table leftover from the morning and a smattering of folks chatting and drinking. We settled into the farthest back booth, where the sunlight dared to peek through one of the few darkened windows, and grabbed some beers. Their selection isn’t gigantic, but it covers most tastes – everything from craft beers, like Victory Prima Pils and Green Flash Road Warrior, to your dad’s favorite lawnmower beers, at prices you’d expect for the area. You order at the counter for drinks and food- don’t expect an enthusiastic response from staff. A mixture of apathy towards customers is kind of discouraging, but the speed was on par.

The menu, presented on one large laminated sheet, is mostly sandwiches and sides. They do include some well-lauded vegetarian selections, for your meatless friends who don’t just want to drink their meals. Their burger selection, much like Honest John’s, is represented by one menu item – The Blackout, for 8 dollars. Fortunately, this is augmented by several other add-on options, as you may want something more to add on to the mayo, lettuce, tomatoes and onions that come standard.

I enjoyed the burger for the most part. Ingredient quality was certainly high, and you can tell Bronx takes pride in their food. The buns, not only collected meat juices adequately, but were an excellent vehicle for the fresh vegetables, blue cheese, browned patty, and caramelized onions I ordered. My burger was a bit overdone, unfortunately, and that beige-gray color that strikes mediocre burgers was certainly present.

I did question the patty for a couple reasons – It was a bit under-seasoned, and it was pale. The cuts of meat they used were pretty lean, leading to lack of necessary fatty,salty goodness in contrast to the crunchy freshness of the toppings. I was a bit bummed, especially since the rest of the equation was excellent. Despite my misgivings, Bronx received the best ratings for burger alone so far – .02 points above Motor City Sports Bar.

The sides we received were delicious. Onion rings and fries were both crispy and hot. The best thing about this though, is their dill dipping sauce. You may or may not know that dill is one of my favorite things – it certainly sold me on the concept of ordering just fries or onion rings at a bar, which I am unlikely to do. If you’re not into mayonnaise or sour cream- based dressing, each table has a bottle of Heinz 57 to complement your meals. This tangy and sweet steak sauce is an excellent condiment for french fries, and I really kind of want to see it everywhere (not for steaks, of course, because that is a waste of meat).

Ultimately, Bronx has most of the things you’re looking for. Dark corners, comfortable and awkward layout, lots of beers, and pretty good food. Bring your parents during the day and talk about how the chairs look like the ones they finally got rid of. Bring a date at night, and use the dim setting for intimate and weird conversations. Go with your friends, and catch some hair of the dog. Whatever the scenario, you’re probably going to like it.

Ratings:

Burger: 4.08
Service: 3.98
Atmosphere: 4.09
Value: 3.56
Overall Rating: 4.00

Erik:

The Patio’s nice
Can’t wait for my hamburger
window shades leave light
4.5/5

Carl: “The Gangsta Snarl” : “The music was loud and annoying. Mostly hip- looking people, tattooed bicycle folk. Hipsters.” 4/5

Julius Pleaser: “Food was very satisfying- a solid burger. They didn’t knock it out of the park, but it was an easy triple. I must be too old because this music is too loud.” 4/5

Frank: “Great bun, great selection of fresh toppings, average bland patty. It’s close to work and they have great sandwiches. It’s a good place to bring a lady.” 4/5

Ray: No comment. 3/5

Andy: “Nice, big burger. Great buns. Excellent jukebox.” 4/5

Janie: No comment. 4/5

Mark: “I really like Bronx bar – and I will be back.” 4 /5

Patrick:

Bronx is on second
their burgers seem to be third
‘Forth!’ friends to new eats
4/5