California Burgerz, On a winter’s day

In a city where residents are surrounded by delicious food from cultures everywhere, it was almost controversial to hear that a burger place was opening on Bangladesh Avenue. Not just a burger place, but one that uses a Z in its name, and gives homage to the American burger mecca, In N’ Out. California Burgerz was coming.

I was very skeptical initially. Of course, being into this kind of thing, I was also very excited. And, don’t tell anyone this, but I’ve never been to In N’ Out. I know, I know. Someday.  With my traveling shortcomings and my appetite in mind, it was imperative for me to try California Burgerz as soon as possible.

CB opened in winter, inviting us to bask in their sunny California glow and take respite from the bleak Michigan landscape. As we drove the  ten or so blocks to the restaurant, we felt the warmth of California shining on us. The air pulsing with heat, humidity, hollywood boulevard, and a hint of ocean breeze. Of course, it could have just been my car’s heater finally kicking in on the wet winter day, but I choose to believe the alternative.

‘Should have brought a swimsuit’, I thought in my head, before bouncing my car into of a massive pothole and into their parking lot. Tucked away in a strip mall, California Burgerz still manages to be incredibly visible. It’s bright, tiled with a white and red checkered pattern, and very bold. Bright menus, signage, and clean surfaces sparkle at you from every angle. 50’s Rock and roll plays on the stereo, and classic fast food booth and table setup fills most of the rest of the space. I think Phil summed up the aesthetic here pretty effectively: “The halal re-imagining of a selectively nostalgic American ideal.” 

They double down on the California aesthetic with a black and white mural on the far wall, with a collage of things like the Universal studios globe, the Hollywood sign, and LAX for some reason. It could work, but the image is a little odd, and the graphic scaling means it has all sorts of pixelation. The wall next to the entrance is a million times better, being covered with pictures of burgers drawn by local kids. Not only are they amazing pictures, but their presence really show that CB is already taking steps to be a local hangout.

Everyone’s favorite thing about California – LAX.

We could get some logo ideas here.

Owner Hani Omasan, who also owns a used car lot in Hamtramck, echoed that thought when he told Metro Times he wanted to create a space for teenagers to hang out. It seems to be working so far, and brings in teenagers and families looking for a simple and good meal. Others have taken notice, too: CB has blown up in popularity since opening, getting praise from Free Press food critic Mark Kurlyandchik, Local 4 news, local food bloggers, and the Arab American News, among others. That nostalgic-but-new aesthetic is drawing people in, and the food is cementing it.

Along with their nostalgic look, the menu is simple – ten burger choices and one chicken sandwich. Sliders, big burgers, giant burgers, a veggie burger, and a turkey burger round out the choices so you can invite everyone with different dietary needs. The menu and signage note that all their burgers are cooked well done. For a pub style burger, or one at a place like Brome, that’s inexcusable. For a thin diner style patty like CB has, that’s just fine.

Collecting our bearings after braving the cold.

If you’re familiar with In N’ Out’s animal-style menu items, then you won’t be too surprised to find that CB has their “Gorilla” items instead. While they aren’t exactly the same thing- an Animal style burger at In N’ Out means a burger grilled in mustard and topped with thousand island and grilled onions, and CB does not mustard-grill their patties while switching the standard bun for a pretzel bun. The gorilla branding tells you exactly what they are aiming for, and it works. For a relatively simple menu, the Gorilla style adds a unique flair.

Ordering is quick, and after you’re given a number for your food you’ll have to wait five or ten minutes, as they make everything to order. With ten of us, our orders all came out within 15 minutes and we covered most of the menu selection. I got the double CB burger with grilled onions instead of raw, hoping for a simple burger to highlight the restaurant’s strengths. Their standard toppings include lettuce, tomato, onions, pickles, american cheese, and CB sauce, all served on a brioche bun. The CB sauce is a mayo based sauce not unlike thousand island dressing – savory and a little sweet. It a simple combination of ingredients for a simple burger.

This burger looks really nice.

I was very enthusiastic about this burger. I continue to be enthusiastic about this burger. It looked perfect wrapped in paper, and the cross section was almost as impressive. It worked well with its balance of acidity from the pickles, sweetness from the sauce, salt and umami from the patty, onions and cheese, and texture with the tomato and lettuce. There was more color in the patty than I expected, which was a nice surprise, and the meat tasted fresh, although not overflowing with flavor.

It does what it sets out to do – it’s a simple burger cooked on a flattop and combined with good ingredients, sold at a reasonable price point. As most of us can attest, it’s easy to find this type of diner burger that is dry, flavorless, and boring. CB’s burgers are juicy and filled with flavor. Their burgers emulate the In N’ Out style in a way that appeals to locals with unique dietary needs. And most importantly,they are very tasty.

The only thing that I thought was a little lacking was the bun, which was be a bit dry, and I would have preferred a potato roll to add some chew and some sweetness. Ordering the pretzel bun, which I’ve done upon returning, alleviates the issue pretty well. While I haven’t tried the bacon here, it is beef bacon, as is to be expected in a halal restaurant, and others who tried it reported it was very good.

Beyond the burgers, CB recognizes the importance of the sides, and the importance of a good french fry to pair with a burger. In their recognition of the almighty potato, they have managed to break ground on an entirely different kind of french fry. Their curvy fries, which are thick, crispy, as curvy as described, provide a crispy, salty, and spicy contrast to the burgers. On this visit, they were slightly under seasoned, which felt like eating warm chunks of boiled potato. Luckily, this isn’t always an issue, and return visits have yielded beautiful batches of these weirdo fried potatoes.

Gorilla Fries, filling and overwhelming.

check out that seasoning.

If the big curvy fries aren’t for you, they have regular fries on the menu as well, or you can opt for their Gorilla Fries, which follow the animal style formula – they’re curvy fries topped with loads of cheese, CB sauce, and grilled onions. They are absolutely packed with calories and fat, but taste great. I wouldn’t eat an order to myself unless I was having an especially gluttonous day.

They do a lot of things well here, and I’ve been back several times since my initial visit. The food is consistently good and the service is very friendly. Hani, the owner, came and talked to our group as we left, asking for suggestions and comments on the restaurant. While we might not see arcade machines taking up some of the extra space in the restaurant, I do expect to see the space evolve over time. The Hamtramck community will decide over time what California Burgerz’ place is, and I hope it remains as it is – a clean, affordable, and solid place to get a good burger with your family and friends.

Ratings:
Music Report: 50’s rock and roll, in a setting where you don’t expect 50’s rock and roll.
Burger: 4.091
Service: 4.18
Atmosphere: 4.58
Value: 4.30
Overall Rating: 4.26 <—- Our New Top Ranking!

Alexandria – “Music was really great!!” 4/5
Alex – “The water cups were the tiniest thing on planet Earth. It’s my first BC, I can’t rate it THAT high. “ 4/5
Bonnie – “We took a pic with the owner! Glad I tried the gorilla fries, but I won’t get them again unless I share with lots of people. Great burger!” – 5/5
Carl “H” – “The fries were passable. The gorilla fries were impressive looking” 4/5″
Erik – “A halal version of an American past that never existed. Patty is good, not great, but works great with the toppings on texture, ingredients, umami, and acidity from the pickles.” 4.5/5
Frank –  “I like the clean, friendly feel of the place. Tasty, decent burger.” 4/5
Jack – “Music could vary if the wait is going to be that. slow.” 4/5
Phil –  -Who are the children whose drawings adorn these walls?
-Cruisin’ Classics! Jukebox Hits! 60’s Teen Dream Rockers!
-The halal reimagining of a selectively nostalgic American ideal.
-Heavy food for teenage stomachs. Good thing it tastes good. 4/5
Summer – “Kids’ drawings on the wall were a nice added touch. Wish I had crayons. Chocolate shake was good. Tasted like Hershey’s syrup. Lacks on graphic design of logo.” 3.5/5

 

California Burgerz
12045 Conant Street
​Hamtramck, MI 48212
Mon-Sat 11am-11pm
Sun 12pm-11pm
​(313) 703-8000

Campau Tower/The Americana Eatery

Here is our overall review! Please go back and check David’s review too.

Campau Tower is an important place to a lot of people. It was always the spot to go when you were wasted and needed food before the morning – and everyone had a story to tell after going. One night, we had the saddest cook in the world, and a friend that made the mistake of ordering the most expensive thing on the menu (the 21 shrimp dinner, for around 5.00) . The silence during that meal, punctuated by loud sighs, sobered me up immensely. One of Scott’s stories involves a lot of yelling about chili, an ungodly amount of mustard on their shirts, and some blood. Needless to say, bad decisions were made before, during and after dining at the Tower.

With all that history, you can imagine the sadness and surprise when this 24 hour institution closed its doors a few months ago. The ending was abrupt – with just a sign on the door saying “closed today – end of business”. The news spread mostly through facebook – residents talked about the stealing that went on there, and the safety issues of only having one employee. But here’s the thing – they also talked about reopening it, doing the same thing but with food that wasn’t entirely frozen and cooks who gave a shit. I definitely had a few conversations about opening a taco place (which it seems everyone in the city wants).

After a couple months, it was announced that Nikita Sanchez of the popular Hamtramck establishment Rock City Eatery would be reopening Tower, with a few changes to the menu. I was excited – he had established himself in the city as a reputable person, capable of accomplishing good food for reasonable prices. The Rock City menu is always changing, and each change is a positive step. Others, however, were more skeptical- and with good reason. It’s hard to take something that I previously had described as “exactly what you expect and want it to be” and turn it around.

Three months after the building closed, and after installing some door locks, the restaurant re-opened as Campau Tower/The Americana Eatery. The menu was totally revamped. In addition to the regular Tower burger (with completely different, fresher ingredients), they now have a number of specialty hot dogs, bao bun sandwiches, hot pockets, and milkshakes. Oh, and they have a square to take credit cards. Nice. Prices rose too, but not outrageously. You can still be more than full for about 7 bucks. Although this is a far cry from the 4 dollars you might spend for a smogasbord previously, you could certainly do worse – or spend that same money at McDonald’s for something far inferior.

I’d visited a number of times before the actual review day. I had good results. I’d heard other things from other folks in the city, about food not being available, weird hours, and so on. To those people, I remind them that even at this point, they’ve only been open a month. There are always kinks to work out. Despite the naysayers, One thing I’d often heard was “It’s great for the price”.

A lot of mixed reviews, mostly positive. But we were curious – would the new and improved Tower stack up to our memories of the old one? To tackle this challenge, MCBC had a bunch of drinks, went to the bar, had more drinks, and then went to tower. We brought along Anais, a couchsurfer, and Andrew, a non-biased friend and old ELBC member from Kalamazoo, along with a regular Hamtramck crew. A few losing games of pool over at 7 Brothers Bar against George may have contributed, but the amount of drinks we had definitely put us in a weird hungry place.

Three staff were working at the time, and we came in to take over all the stools at the same time – luckily the only ones there at the time. It took a couple minutes, but after a round of waters,we all ordered our burgers with various toppings. While everyone stared at the huge flatscreen with American Horror Story playing. I am not a fan of this TV, and I think it detracts from the atmosphere of the tiny kitchen and dining area. The intimacy of the space forces you to talk to the people around you, whether you’re bored with them or not, and the TV provides a distraction from this. 

I opted for the caramelized onions and roasted peppers on my cheeseburger. Staff slapped them on the grill immediately, and although the orders came out staggered, the five of us got them in relatively short time. They come presented in a basket with wax paper. Classic. Refined. Nostalgic. No complaints here.

The toppings make the burgers pop, and they all have a squeeze of “burger sauce” on them. I don’t quite know what it is. Mayo and hot sauce? Homemade thousand island? A basic fancy sauce? Whatever it is, it is a welcome addition. Several club members echoed this sentiment, that it helped round out the burger flavor, which I thought was underwhelming.

the patties are fresh and hand-formed. The problem lies in the flavoring and crust formation- a little more salt and pepper on that patty would be a huge attraction. And I’m sure the folks that run Rock City Eatery understand the importance of the maillard reaction!  The option to get it cooked at a temperature other than medium is offered on the wall- but I’m not sure that this is what would help. A good medium for these small patties should be perfect. Instead of doing their own thing for these patties, which is awesome and encouraged in every other respect, a call back to the roots of cooking this style of burger may help things rise up from just “OK” to “fantastic”.

Don’t get me wrong –  I enjoyed this experience and the ones I’ve had before. They do a lot of really good things, the service is awesome and their concept is spot on. The bao buns and specialty hot dogs are fantastic, the toppings available for everything are super high quality, and I won’t stop talking about the pickles that they use. This is still a damn good burger! But there’s room for improvement.

All in all, Tower is killer. Across the board, the folks that attended said they would come back (5/5 all around, even from out of towners, which is unprecedented). We confirmed that the value is huge, and that you get what you pay for and then some. The late night hours are excellent and provide a service for the many bars in town and their patrons. I know that I’ll be back, and I hope the Tower builds a whole new history for itself.

(Update 2018: Tower closed after two owner changes. Dos Locos Tacos is now running out of the business and they are great!)

Ratings:

Burger: 3.76

Service: 4.03

Atmosphere: 3.63

Value: 4.49

Overall Rating: 4.020

Note: Frank and David also provided ratings in order to make the data more robust. They didn’t come with us, but ate on similar late night occasions to ours. Mark claims he had seven beers before arriving, so he declined to rate, but left his comments.

Erik: “Those pickles. Whoa. I wish I got a hot dog too.” 4/5

Andrew: “Good food, good price, great hours. The selection of toppings was a little limited but what they had was good!” 4/5

Frank: “They have an alright burger but the topings and options you get with your order make it worth coming back for. All sides/menu items are better than the burger–besides the fries. The fries are bad. Tasty hotdog options and good quility little bao bun sandwiches. Shakes!” 4.5/5

David: “Costs more than the old tower, but totally worth it.” 4.65/5 (Note: Check out David’s Standalone review on this one!)

Brett: “To sum up my thoughts, I rated most things just above average, but not quite amazing. I believe that is true, I wouldn’t say I was blown away by this experience. That said, it was a delicious experience, a convenient experience, and a well priced experience. These three magical factors add up making it an almost irresistible experience. I’m not sure I’ll ever love this place, but I find it inevitable that I will return.” 4/5

Cowboy Carl: “I was excited to see Gruyere cheese on the menu. I am glad I added bacon because the hamburger was pretty bland.The pickles were phenomenal, lettuce very fresh. Buns could be nicer, I would have liked mine slathered in butter then toasted a bit crisp. Chili Cheese fries were pretty dang good. Good place for late night drunk munchies and brunch hot dogs (I want to try the breakfast hot dog)” 3.65/5

Mark: “EVERYTHING WAS GOOD.
I HAD LIKE 7 BEERS BEFORE HAND, I DONT REMEMBER MUCH, I JUST REMEMBER ENJOYING EVERYTHING.
THE BUNS WERE GREAT.
THE FRIES WERE REALLY HOT.
I HAD A WATER, LOTS OF ICE CUBES. THEY HAD A PITCHER FOR ME TO POUR.” I DONT KNOW OUT OF FIVE

Campau Tower/The Americana Eatery
10337 Joseph Campau
Hamtramck, MI, 48212
(313) 265-3694
(Photo Credits: Jason Friedmann + Watson, Erik, Mark)

David’s Take on Campau Tower

David, ELBC and MCBC founder and member, came to Hamtramck recently, and after the rest of us squares went to sleep, he sauntered over to Tower for some food. Obviously this man cares about hamburgers, and we’d certainly talked it up enough.

David provided a review of his experience. I’m going to share that with you, and then the full review sheet that he filled out, so you get an idea of what kind of methods we use to rate. It’s not all willy-nilly, trust me. I’ve been honing this data system for years now! David’s numbers are included in the rest of the club numbers, so it will reflect how we all felt about it! 

Enjoy, and then check out our full review!

-Erik

I had been to Campau Tower before it was reinvented. I was sad to hear it had closed, because it was a short walk from Whiskey In The Jar, where my evening always necessitates a greasy burger or slice of pizza.

In early September, I had what I thought was successful job interview at Quicken. To celebrate and calm my nerves after driving on the Lodge, I embarked upon an evening of High Lifes at Whiskey, Motor City IPAs at the Moose Lodge, and several cans of Miller Lite at Erik’s house. Erik was doing homework and I was reading A Study In Scarlet before I passed out to Miles Davis at nearly 11 PM. I woke up at 2 am after Erik and Scott had gone to bed. Going to a bar was out of the question because of intrusive government regulations, so I finished my warming Miller Lite and went the New Tower.

Almost every seat was taken past 2 am on a Monday evening. As Zoolander played on the newly installed flat television, there were four policeman from Hamtramck P.D. who looked like they were barely old enough to drink. They were pitching ideas for Homemade Hotpockets, which is on the menu at the New Tower. She obliged by constructing one filled with Mac & Cheese, which is off the menu. Others in attendance included a sextigenarian Polish man, and an otherwise innocuous gentrifying hipster.

H.H.P.D. (Hamtramck Hot Pocket Department)

I ordered a bacon cheeseburger with an over-medium fried egg and and a vanilla milkshake. I would normally go for chocolate, but they were out. I had never enjoyed a vanilla shake before, but I did this time.

Not only was my burger superior to what the old tower offered, it is the best cheeseburger I’d had in a very long time. It wasn’t particularly complex, which is normally an artifact for an excellent, satisfying burger. I entered hungry and left happy; I will return.

Name: David
Restaurant: New Tower

Burger: 
What did you order?: Bacon cheeseburger with an over-medium fried egg. Also, a vanilla milkshake. I wanted chocolate, but they were out. It was still good.
Doneness/cooked to Order: I don’t remember if I specified, but I didn’t object. 5/5
Freshness/Quality of Toppings: Way better than the old incarnation of Tower, it was very fresh indeed. 4.999991/5
Bun: Very good, toasted. 4/5
Food Price: More than the old tower, but totally worth it. 3.77/5
Drink Price: I don’t remember, but it was fine. 3.5/5
Patty Seasoning/Flavor: Just right. 5/5
Presentation : Simple. 3.5/5
Sides: None.

Service:
Speed: It about what one could expect from a packed house with a small grill. They started my burger before I finished my order. 4/5
Likability of waiter/waitress: She was very pleasant and engaging. 4/5
Accommodation of special requests: I don’t think I made any, but they made a Mac & Cheese Hot Pocket for a Cop, so I think they are pretty open minded and eager to please. 5/5

Atmosphere: 
Appearance: Fine. 3.5/5
Ambiance: Fine. 3.5/6
Crowd: Diverse, kind of weird, but good. 3.99/5
Cleanliness: 5/5

Likelihood of returning: 5/5 (Not even a question)
Overall VALUE: 3.5
Overall Rating: 4.65/5

Stay tuned for the main post!

(Photos from David and Erik.)

Motor City Sports Bar

Although MCBC loves to review burgers all over the metropolitan area, we often like to stay around home and enjoy the 25+ bars that we have in our 2.2 square mile city of Hamtramck. Most bars in the city do not serve food, but instead allow patrons to bring in their own food to eat while drinking. However, there are a small handful that serve good food to the hungry weird drunks of Hamtramck. A few include burgers on the menu, including Kelly’s, New Dodge Lounge, and Motor City Sports Bar.

After an informal survey of the best burgers in the entire metropolitan area amongst Hamtramck residents, many of them pointed to Motor City Sports Bar. We had often heard the burgers were the best in the city- but all of metro Detroit?

Many of our members are not strangers to Motor City Sports Bar. The bar has provided life-saving sustenance during long Paczki day beer treks and other bar crawls, and was the venue for us to watch the most recent MSU victory over UM in football. The drinks have always been cheap, and the bartenders friendly.  Although bias certainly comes into play in our proud enclave of Detroit, MCBC aims to find the truth.

We arrived on a Saturday about 5:30 pm, after a walk through some slush that left Carl wishing that he had worn real boots. Luckily, after having dealt with winter weather for two months already, the rest of us came prepared for the miniscule five block walk and arrived with dry feet. The bar was sparsely populated at this hour, with a few people having drinks and a couple playing darts in the back. Some classic rock played on the internet jukebox (which are the worst, but that is a different story) at a level that would have annoyed your parents.

Carl described the place pretty well when he wrote that it is “Very much like a sports bar.” For a typical sports bar, it is kept clean, and I might describe it as borderline classy. Despite the well-kept appearance, it still has all the normal sports bar things. Several flat screen TVs are arranged above the bar, usually set to different games. The back room holds the largest TV, two pool tables, a foosball table (one of the only foos tables in Hamtramck), two electronic dartboards, and a couple small tables to eat or  rest drinks on while playing pool. After surveying the bar compared to the others in the city, I realized that ALL Hamtramck bars have video poker machines. Who is still playing these things? Why do they need more than one? Does Danny D have anything to do with it?

Scott thinks about the best way to hit the 8-ball in early, as is his wont.

Smoking is allowed inside, and several patrons sat at the bar with an ashtray. As a person who likes the occasional indoor cigarette, I am not as turned off by smoke inside as others may be. Unlike many other bars, however, the permeating tobacco smell is minimal and does not detract from other sensory experiences. For bars that serve food and allow smoking, the filtration system in place here should be mandatory. Those 40 year old Smokeeters don’t quite do the trick. It’s possible that the smoking in some bars in Hamtramck may slow down or cease- all bars were recently informed by the police of public act 188 (again), which bans smoking in all michigan restaurants and bars. Knowing the stubbornness of the people in the city, I doubt this will stick. We’re gonna smoke where we want to.

The locale is a huge part of what the bar is – in any other location, it would be a regular sports bar. In Hamtramck, it weaves into the fabric of the city and becomes a meeting place for the clientele of many cultures. You’ll see people stopping in from the Painted Lady, a notorious punk bar, or the New Dodge Lounge, which also has frequent live shows. Others traipse across town from mosques, distant bars, or block club meetings. Some patrons speak English as a second or third language.  I’ve seen soccer matches of non-American teams on their flatscreens, and I know a handful of people that come just to enjoy the Bosnian specialities on the menu . It wouldn’t be out of the question to expect a CFL game or a cricket match to be playing on the TVs, either — the conglomeration of weirdos that come here make for a uniquely Hamtramck experience.

Upon arrival, we were greeted promptly by the bartender, who got us set up with a pitcher of beer ($5 for Molson or Labatt light, $1 for a single 12oz pour) and some cold mugs.  Blue moon glasses are also offered for $2, and the bar has a full array of mixed drinks. A downside of Motor City is the lack of any kind of craft brews. In a state that is becoming more and more well-known for their fantastic craft beers, this is nearly inexcusable. The closest they come is a Sam Adam’s Boston Lager, which doesn’t quite cut it. Of course, they do have the otherwise full range of boring domestic lagers and pilseners, and a cold Canadian beer will certainly hit the spot. Unfortunately, my Molson order was denied, as the keg had recently blown. Carl expressed his disappointment and maybe a little bit of contempt,  but we got Labatt light instead. For $5 per 64 oz pitcher, who can complain?

A potential problem was introduced when a couple of members came in with coffee from Cafe 1923, the local coffeeshop.  One of the waitresses came to talk to them, and informed them that no outside beverages were allowed (obviously) but gave them approval to drink their coffee discreetly.  It was a mostly pleasant interaction and was handled well by staff.

Our server remained attentive and prompt throughout the service, bringing us new pitchers and picking up baskets and condiments when we were finished. Most of us thought the service was good, except for Scott. He was told his dollar coin was “collectable”, and he spent a minute or two harumphing about it.  The consistent waitressing at Motor City was in stark contrast to the bipolar service we received at Miller’s Family Restaurant (a story for another time). We played a few games of pool, and then got around to getting hungry.

Cevapi pita and onion rings. Delicious!

The menu is pretty small, but covers bar basics – Burgers, Chicken, and a bunch of fried foods. It also has several chevapi options. For those of you who don’t know, chevapi (or ćevapi) is a skinless Bosnian sausage made of minced beef and seasoning. You can get the plate ($8.75-12.50 depending on number of sausages, with salad and bread) or the chevapi pita ($6.00) – which includes swiss and american cheese, tomato, and onion.

Although our club was formed to pay homage to the glory of beef patties, we often bring along a vegetarian to evaluate the other options. French fries (seasoned waffle fries or steak fries) and other fried foods are the only option for vegetarians – but luckily for Pescatarian Michelle, they also include a fish sandwich and shrimp on the menu.

Burger options are limited to four choices – hamburger ($5.50), cheeseburger ($6), bacon cheeseburger (7.25), and the bacon, mushroom and swiss burger (7.75). They all come with lettuce, tomatoes, onions, pickles and mayo. Frank was later disappointed that they didn’t ask him if he wanted mayo before putting it on his burger.  If he had read the menu before he ordered, he may have realized it was standard.

MCSB uses half pound hand-packed patties, char-broiled on the grill. The bartender will make sure to ask you how you want it cooked – in a city that uses a lot of frozen foods and cost-cutting shortcuts, this is a delight. On a later reconnaissance mission, the owner told me that they get their meat freshly ground daily from Eastern Market, and use their own “special seasoning blend”. The cheeseburger comes standard with American cheese, but they will also give you swiss if you ask. The buns, like the beef,is also sourced locally, and made at Metropolitan bakery located on the south end of Hamtramck, just a few blocks away.

On their specials and drink board, they include the addendum: ”Add egg or garlic bread to any order: .75, jalapenos .50, marinara .50.” These possibilities would have likely sparked David’s creative side, but he wasn’t there, and none of us went this route. I ordered the bacon cheeseburger, cooked medium rare with everything on it, and a side of seasoned waffle fries.

The burgers are served open faced in a basket with wax paper, and fries in separate baskets.  I was impressed with the colors on display from my burger. The vegetables looked fresh and recently cut, the patty wasn’t too greasy or dry, and the bun was pretty standard, but still intact. I’m thankful I went for the half order of fries ($2.50 instead of the regular $4 whole order) with my cheeseburger, as the patty was huge and the meal left me feeling stuffed.  The half pound burgers promised by the bartender may have actually been bigger. I’m pretty sure they don’t use a scale – the cook was heavy handed on this day (lucky us!)

My burger was exceptional.  Thick bacon slices lay on top, with a perfect saltiness to contrast with the cheese and mayo. The patty was as it looked- minimally seasoned, but with an incredible beefy taste that remained juicy throughout the meal. I expect their seasoning blend was little more than a light dusting of salt and pepper, as anything else would be lost in the flavor of the cooked beef. Condiments were unnecessary, although I did add a bit of mustard for good measure.  Visual inspection and textural contrast provided no clues whether or not the bun was toasted beforehand. Mine stayed together, but Frank reported that his did not fare as well.

Mysterious and hungry, Tara clutches her burger like the grail.

I found the toppings to be fresh and crisp, but up against a lighter protein, they may not have fared so well. Michelle was happy with her fish sandwich, except for the tomatoes, which she described as: “pretty terrible as far as tomatoes go.”

On the side,  the seasoned waffle fries were crisp and salty. They were cooked as waffle fries should be, and fulfilled their purpose. The steak fries, however,  were not as revered. They should have been crispier, as we all know there’s nothing sadder than a limp fry.

Somewhere during our meal, the volume increased and the music changed – somebody put on some bad pop music we could barely speak over. If your parents were annoyed before, they would have definitely left by now. The music volume turns out to be one of the bar’s biggest downfalls.  I perked up when I heard a social distortion song followed by a replacements song, but my mood again turned sour when the musical tyranny of bad R&B continued.

Scott and I had a victorious foosball game and a couple more pitchers before the group paid our more than reasonable tabs. We walked away from the bar full and satisfied, and left the Hamtramckans to their own devices.

(note: this was written at the beginning of the year. There is still no smoking in the bar. The music is still too loud. The burgers are just as good.)

Ratings:

Burger: 4.06

Service: 3.92

Atmosphere: 2.94

Value: 4.25

Overall Rating: 3.82

(Although MCBC didn’t get the highest ratings for the restaurant, it has the highest so far for the burger alone – just a bit above Cutter’s! Nice!)

Michelle: “The Fish was great!” 4/5

Carl: “The burger was hella good, like, really good burger. Huge, good toppings, REAL bacon. I would definitely come back for a burger here. Just wish they had better beer.” 5/5

Scott: “Good place to watch a  game. Would not bring parents here.” 4/5

Tara: “Meat and cheese were perfect. Bun was meh. I felt terrible that I could only eat half because it was too much. “ 3/5

Frank: “Great burger, cooked just how I like it. It fell apart though, too big for bun. Almost perfect…” 4.5/5

Erik: “A few things detract from an otherwise awesome experience.” 5/5

Motor City Sports Bar

9122 Joseph Campau Ave

Hamtramck, MI

(313) 875-4710

(Photo credits go to Erik and Frank)

Marcus Hamburgers

Marcus Hamburgers has a long history of serving people. Lots of people. The people who make the world work, the people who get us to work, the people who make this city what it is. Marcus has long been greasing the axles of the hard-working masses who have slowly but surely built Detroit from the ground up, the folks who got the populace out of their neighborhoods and onto the highways.

At Marcus, reminders of this past are everywhere. there is a metal fan sitting on top of a fridge that likely hasn’t been moved for decades. The ceiling tiles are turning a little brown. The chevy posters which are scattered across the walls are faded by the sun. The weird ‘Marcus: We appreciate your business!’ sign above the back kitchen with poorly drawn pictures of food beckons and confuses. Every tiny piece of the diner carries itself with pride. When you enter Marcus, you feel the same way – coated in a dusty layer of something special.

Everything about Marcus screams blue collar. You know that their horse-shoe style counters are not only a brilliant innovation but totally unique to the restaurant. Ten people fit around one of these little horseshoes, and there’s 6 of them in the diner.  In their heyday, there were likely more than 60 people crammed into this approximately 20×40 room, scrambling to get a hearty lunch and head back to the factory floor. The cook yelling jokes at us, coupled with the wonderfully welcoming and pleasant waitress are part of the historic fabric and the culture that permeates and resonates from this slightly dilapidated diner.

The restaurant is named after the burgers, for their distinctive rectangular shape. They are steakburgers, presumably made with ground round. The story told now is that they bought hot dog buns by mistake one day, and rather than getting new buns, they shaped their burgers to fit the buns. Of course, this tale stuck, and through ownership changes nobody knows the real story any longer (in this case, myth may be more important than truth). There are several varieties and combinations of burgers, none of them more than $3.25. They are cooked in a vat of oil, and then smothered in chili, or cheese, or nothing.  They’re served on a freshly steamed hot dog bun.

The patty itself is good, not overseasoned, juicy and beefy in a lot of good ways. It doesn’t soak through the bun, but the juices definitely drip into your mouth. They are cooked all the way through, but not overcooked, and you would be crazy to ask the cook to leave it in a little less long. The american cheese blankets the burger nicely, coats every bite, and makes you appreciate the American Whey.

But if you want condiments, all of which are served on the side like an insane midwestern tapas presentation, go light. Your first instinct is to want to slather everything all over it like a hot dog. But look at it again: It’s not a hot dog. Take your time, make sure the toppings are fresh- the onions provided to us on the counter were dubious at best. Add only as necessary. And be warned, the relish in the bowl is actually sweet. You don’t really want that on your burger, do you?

The fries and onion rings are decent, but certainly didn’t blow my mind. Having said that, I gobbled up my portion pretty quickly. Sides and breakfasts are all cheap, affordable, and come in good portions of standard diner-quality food.

As for the club, we all loved the service (despite a few minor mixups). With the addition of some old friends and some new ones (12 people in total!), it is safe to say that we all had a good time. Some were into the charm that the place provided, and a couple members were excited to bring their parents. However, we did not give it very good ratings.

Minimalism is the name of the game at Marcus. Enjoy the age-old decor and feel. Go for a strip of bacon on your burger, which is thick and crunchy. Get the cheese. Go wild with the mustard. Don’t feel bad about ordering their cheap and awesome breakfasts, or their other sandwiches and sides (the menu is huge). But stray outside of those guidelines, and you may be in for a bad time.

 

Ratings:

Burger: 3.21

Service: 4.43

Atmosphere: 3.71

Value: 4.29

Overall Rating: 3.82

 

Erik: “I’m coming back for what this place stands for. “4.5 /5

Andrew:  “Love the design of the counter… The waves.” 3/5

Bob: 4 “Loved it. Actual diner, not a reproduction. Pepsi products!” 4/5

Carl ‘The gangsta snarl’: 3 “Cheap, good portions.” 3/5

Frank:  “Friendly waitress, cook, and crowd. Great for lunch; maybe not great for dinner. Cheap breakfast. And it’s close!” 5/5

Jeff:  “Onions were crummy.” 3/5

Joe:  “Location out of the way, but definitely worth the drive back.” 5/5

Megan: “Super in love with multiple plates for everything” 4/5

Phil:  “Quirky with lots of history and a great Detroit working-class vibe: unpretentious and friendly. The novelty didn’t end with the patty shape. The decor- horseshoe seating, occasional record on the wall, sink outside the bathroom, all add up to a great quirky vibe. However, the mediocrity of the food leaves this place with novelty as it’s biggest selling point. Oh yeah, and it’s dirt fucking cheap. I’d go back.” 3/5

Rachel:  No Comment.  2/5

 

Marcus Hamburgers

6349 E McNichols Rd, Detroit, MI 48212

(313) 891-6170

(photo credits to Bob, Carl and Erik)